Opposite...

This layout really does count... it's just waiting for a pic that shouldn't be too far out...
I am blogging early... I am doing it because I think that I should really wait until later, just in case something happens... so instead, I am doing it now, in hopes that something really will happen.
Just like I think to leave all of the details for Sunday alone, because nothing will happen, I am taking care of everything that I can now, so maybe something will happen.
Instead of leaving the rest of my week open, just in case something happens, I am making plans, so something will happen...
I made another appointment for next week , so something will happen. If I didn't, then nothing would happen...
You see, opposite...
So the appointment today... I didn't have to wait for 2 hours. I did get some reading done! "To Draw Closer to God" by Henry B. Eyring, really good read. It is a bunch of his talks and addresses, so inspiring. I love that I hear his voice while I read his words!
So on to the good stuff...
- 4 cm
- head WAY down...
- no more thinning-out will take place until there is a baby nearly in my arms.
- she is close to 8 pounds (high 7 at the least)
- he could feel my amniotic sac, he was wondering why it hadn't ruptured, yet...
- and lots more mucus! (I know, over-share for some of you, excitement to me!)
He "stirred" some things up while he was there. I've been feeling crampy ever since... He said that he wouldn't see me next week with a baby in my tummy, I shouldn't go that much longer, but that's what the doc said with Ash, I went around at a four, for another week... He told me to make another appointment for next week, cause that would just be bad luck if I didn't. We also talked a lot more about the VBAC. I asked him some questions about stuff I've been reading, augmentation of the uterus, placenta placement, you know, weird stuff that I really shouldn't worry about, but I do a little because of Merrill. I don't even tell him about half of the possibilities that could happen with a VBAC that I read about, he's freaked out enough. The good ol' doc was good about all of it. I am not worried. Besides, whatever is supposed to happen, will. Besides, I'll get a blessing before we go anyway...
So tomorrow, Lynn's first day of Pre-School! I get to take a "first day of school" pic! AND I'll get to scrapbook it! I am so excited! So I am planning a post for tomorrow, all about her first day, the outfit, backpack, etc., and then the opposite will happen... my post might end up being mostly about something else... See, opposite!

Pre-School Blues...

I went and signed Lynn up for Pre-School today. It is a new class that is starting Thursday. It's right next door to Mer, so at least that takes care of part of my anxiety... I am still having issues with the separation anxiety. I might just have to stay and watch her through the two-way glass for a little while, and cry! I also got the Kindergarten round-up sheet today. Lynn was so excited when I showed it to her and told her what it was. So Pre-School will help me... As Bill Murray's character in "What About Bob", would say, "Baby steps..." For me, baby steps to Kindergarten...
I went and did my civic duty tonight. You know what I got for doing it? A fall on black ice. It was mostly scary, not too hurty. And I was being so careful! Even the guy who was walking behind me said he couldn't even see it. Yeah, someone witnessed this big ol' preggie falling on her bum... I've been having some pretty hard Braxton Hicks since. But nothing else to note. The whole drive home, crying, Peyton kept kicking where I'd put my hand, like she knew how afraid I was. Mer felt so bad! Maybe I'll have more than just a bruised ego tomorrow...

So don't freak out... anymore.

I didn't want to alarm anyone... I have really been feeling this way for quite a while... like months... I put it aside, because it doesn't do any good to sit and worry. I was talking with Brooke today, and something else was brought to light; I am also afraid of being released form my calling. I really love where I am and who I get to serve with. I quite frankly wouldn't know what to do with myself if I just had to go to Relief Society... I never have before. I've always had a calling that has kept me otherwise occupied. It freaks me out to think of not having a Sunday responsibility. The thought of me, sitting there, with a just my baby to take care of, kind of freaks me out. So maybe that's what it is, that would be opposition to me...
Last night, I had to be thankful. As I went upstairs, because I couldn't take the shrill little girl screams anymore, I was so thankful. I do not have a sports nut of a husband. We watched the Superbowl, but it wasn't yelling or everyone out of the way, or silence while we stress about this game... it was family fun. Mer played with the girls and had them really going. He was the monster. See how shrill screams were involved? I was so thankful that I have a husband who isn't afraid to play and rough-house with his little girls.
I got two BIG projects done today for HOF... almost done!

My new Prophet!

While I am a little sad to think about changing the picture that has hung on my fridge for so long, I am excited to put up the picture of President Thomas S. Monson. (I do think President Hinckley's picture will linger for a while... and not just because it will take me a while to get to the distribution center...)
I cannot put to words the feelings I have felt as I watched the press conference announcing the new First Presidency of the Church. I felt calm. That is the best that I can do, but there is so much more to it than that. I felt peace as I heard each of them speak and address questions from the press. I am so thankful for the Spirit, that brings these feelings.
I am so excited for General Conference in March!

Faith... and MORE SnOw!!!

I realized, after I finished this layout, that the one I did last night, was dated A YEAR BEHIND! See, that is what I get for putting it off, TWO YEARS...
Here is our deck... we have had some warm days that had our snow melting, mind you, but here it is... Merrill is praying that the snow will collapse the deck, and somehow the gate too... then we can have homeowners cover the cost of re-building. (Now, who was it who said that outdoor carpet on our deck was a bad idea???)
I've been thinking a lot about Faith. I've been thinking about it for a while, but ever since my conversation with Lynn, I've been thinking about it even more. I feel like I am being prepared for something. Everything that we read in the Book of Mormon talks about agency, the plan of salvation, opposition, Faith... yeah, I know that's the Scriptures for you... There are a lot of things going on in our life that could go in any direction. I don't know what it is, but I feel as if I am being prepared for some opposition. While I am scared, because I don't know what it could be, or if it's anything at all, I feel like what Lynn said needs to be applied. I need to be tough, even though I want to be scared. I love that my kids teach me so much.
I wanted to get up today during Fast & Testimony meeting, but I felt too emotional. It would have been blubbering, rather than a testimony. I can't explain it. Something is coming. The last time I felt this way, it was that Primary needed a change, a shake-up. And boy did it get it! But while it was hard, and stressful, and a learning experience, it was good for me. Maybe it's just that the unknown of having another little one is freaking me out! But I need to let go, and let what is supposed to happen, happen...
Oh, and Mom, I think it's safe to say, that with your guess, you are out of the contest... I'll still make you some cards, for Mother's Day...

Yesterday... today.

I finished the album...Last page...

And here's another from 2005, I really am almost done, 3 more layouts???So yesterday...
The day picked-up where the day before had left off. I had errands to get done.
- Sam's Club (get the RIGHT pics...)
- Groceries
- JoAnn's
- Peyton's Blessing Dress...
That evening, we were meeting at my parent's for Promise to have a blessing, and for Kev. It was his birthday, and Mom was making another chocolate layer cake... yum...
So, we got all ready, and as I was getting the pictures off of my computer this time, (yes, I remembered...) I was giving Lynn and Ash the run-down of the day. When I got to going to Grandma and Grandpa's, the both got really excited. Then Lynn asked why. As I explained to her that Promise had asked for a blessing, she said, "Why don't we just say a prayer for her?"
So we had a long conversation about Priesthood blessings and Faith. When I finished my spiel about Faith, she said the smartest thing to me...
"Sometimes Faith isn't about believing in what we don't see. Sometimes it's about being tough when we're really scared." Smart five-year-old I have, eh?
We went to leave, and there was my Mer (insert a picture of a heart here), with the backhoe, ready to clear out the driveway and mailbox, again.
We got the pics, lunch, and all everything we were looking for at Sam's.
We went to JoAnn's, and I found some things that I had been looking for for a long time, I was just looking in the wrong places. The only dumb thing that I did, was leave my coupons at home on the counter...
Groceries went off without a hitch too.
The last and final errand: "the dress". I stopped at a store close to Wal Mart, hoping it would be my last stop. The girls and I went in, after a talk about how they were to touch NOTHING... We went inside and were immediately helped. All the dresses were hung up high, so the sales girl stayed right there to get them down when I wanted to look at one. I looked at a few. I was going for simple. I decided to look at one, it was okay, then another. When she got it down and haded it to me, I started to cry, in front of a complete stranger! This must be "the dress", if it makes me cry in front of someone I don't even know. We got shoes there too. I was on my way home.
Mer got home a little late, but then we were off to Mom & Dad's, we were leaving the girls there after the blessing to go on an actual date! We were very excited.
The blessing was wonderful. The girls were great during it. After some visiting, beacause that is just what happens at the Mays household, we were off on our date.
We went to McGrath's. Chowder, steak and crab legs... even the sourdough bread was delicious, I usually don't care for it. We had a great evening. To make it even better, we got to take home some of the cake mom made for Kev (really ME)!
So here are my many blessings from yesterday:
- Having such an up-lifting conversation with Lynn about Faith.
- Getting all of my errands done, without any forgetfulness (except for those darn coupons...)
- Finding a white Sharpie marker.
- Finding "the dress" at my first stop.
- Mom and Dad had to pay $0.00 on their deductible to fix Dad's car.
- Dad passed his physical to get his eye fixed.
- To be there for Promise's blessing.
- Our Date.
- Crab Legs... and butter...
- Chocolate cake.
Today was President Hickley's funeral. We watched it all together. I hope the girls never forget. It was so neat to hear what people remembered about this sweet man. I am just going to miss his seat, with him in it...