Rocky Mountain Oysters

Lynn has been asking more and more questions about babies, where they come from, and male & female relationships.

It is a time of life that I knew would inevitably come, but one that I hoped wouldn’t show up for a couple years more.

I answer these queries as they come, with little bits of information at a time, following her cues and prompts.  I haven’t broken down each part and how it functions, just some basics.

“Moms have eggs in their ovaries…  dads have sperm in their testicles…  they meet inside the moms body to form a baby.”

Now, I haven’t told her exactly how this all “gets together”..  just term it as “sex”.  She doesn’t need to know the “ins and outs” of it all. 

(No pun intended.)

(That was kinda a doosy.)

Anyway, Lynn knows some basics.  Just enough for right now.  As more questions come, I tackle them.

So a couple of weeks ago, we were watching “The Office”.  Michael was headed-off to Denver, Dwight was kinda ticked about it.  As a parting gift (of sorts) he gives Michael a plate of “Rocky Mountain Oysters”.  Now, if you know Michael, you’ll know that he dug right in.  He was chomping on those things.  I mean, he was really eating them up!  Right in the middle of his chewing, Dwight reveals that they are really bull testicles.  Get it..  Rocky Mountain Oysters….

Lynn turns to Merrill and asks:

“Dad, what are testicles?”

There was a little pause. 

I anxiously awaited his response.

He made his way through a decent explanation, one that was a bit, um, stumbled through?  He even told her about scrotums. 

(I have to admit that at this point, I was trying my hardest to not let my laughter out.) 

After he finished his explanation, Lynn gave a little, “Oh…” then I turned around and said, “Lynn, remember we talked about testicles?”

I re-iterated just a little bit about our past conversation and a little light went on in her eyes.

“Oh!  Yeah!!  I remember now.”

She skipped away totally satisfied.

Merrill just looked at me and said, “You couldn’t have jumped in sooner?”