what is wrong with this picture I ask you?

really.
this is what happens, apparently, when mom is unconscious on the couch, suffering with “the plague”.
little bo peep here, I have since discovered, is very proficient in the following:
a) finding temporary tattoos confiscated from her sister’s room and kept in that room where her belongings live until she earns them all back.
(looks like ash really doesn’t care about these items in particular, eh?)
2) finding scissors ( I have them all hidden, have no idea where she got some) to separate tattoos.
c) cutting aforementioned temporary tattoos without harming the images to be tattooed.      (or severing the appendages of the tattooee.)
IV.) applying temporary tattoos.
(very expertly I should add.)
so happy to be healed, and able to head-off any more similar tests of proficiency in this four-year-olds life.

in other news, spring has sprung:

Parental Supervision

It is spring break around here.

(Don’t let the un-springlike weather fool you.  We just reside in Utah, that’s all.)

So what does a momma who rarely gets the chance to sleep in do on spring break?

Sleep in!

There is a slight hazard in that though.

The smallish children.

The things they can do while mother hen is sleeping in…

Take for example our first day of spring break:

The older two were having a sleep over with grandma, Peyton was my only charge.  She wakes up at the butt crack of dawn regardless of what day it is, vacations are not part of her little mindset as of yet.

(I say as of yet, because one day, they will be, and they will be priceless to her!)

So Peyton rose with the sun, needing her Trix and chocolate milk.  I got up, groggily, got the cereal and milk for her, turned on PBS kids (Curious George to be exact), and dragged myself back to bed, hoping for a few more minutes of sleeeeep.

I woke up a little after 8.  It was all too quiet.  I thought to myself: “Self.  When things are this quiet, something is a muck.  You should get your lazy self out of bed and go see about that little one.”

But as soon as my inner monologue ended, that sweet, most darling three year old came into my room, skipping into my room, and climbed into bed with me.  I kept my eyes closed, hoping that that little sprite would want to snuggle with me for a minute.  As she cozied-up to me underneath my down comforter, she said, “Mommy..  I got an owie on my face.”

(But when she says “face” it sounds more like “bace”.  Those three year-olds and that “f” sound..)

As I opened my eyes is slight alarm (knew I should have checked on her!!) and turned to see her face, this is what I saw:

 

Scary and funny all at once..  I know.

But there were no real “owies” underneath. 

Upon further investigation, I found this:

But the smart kid threw away all of the garbage! 

Guess I won’t be buying the character band aids for a while.

We’ll stick to plain old boring skin color.

More ink, I think.

Hey, look at that!  I am a poet and didn’t know it!

(Cheesy, I know, but that is what I do best.)

Lynn decided she wanted to be a leprechaun, or maybe a small hobo, I still haven’t decided.  The pink be-jeweled leotard really is throwing me off..

So is the hot pink nail polish.

Shortly after this picture was taken, she went and added a moustache.

I wonder where Peyton has been getting her ideas?

Lynn assured me that the little girls don’t think what she did was a good idea.

Ashley assured me that she thought it wasn’t a very good idea.

Peyton remained silent.

Hobbies and interests of a three year-old girl.

This is Peyton:

She is three.

Her hobbies and interests include (but are not limited to):

- playing dolls

- chewing gum

- anything Toy Story

- dress-ups

- taking naps at the worst possible times of the day

- saying funny things

- sucking on her fingers

- playing deputy to my sheriff

- hogging the bed

- kicking off the covers

- bubble baths

- screaming

- boobs

and her newest hobby, stamping.

(She did a fantastic job, didn’t she?)

I like how she got one right on each little nipple, and another one ringed around her belly button…

I am still confused as to how she got them behind each elbow, and in the middle of her back.

Now, a little explanation is required, before you deem me a “negligent mother”.  Little girl seems to take total advantage as soon as the hair-dryer is turned on.

It is like a siren, calling to her, telling her to go and do something she would usually be told “no” to.

She did this same thing on Sunday, only on Sunday, she coated each of her legs.  I had spent a good bit of time washing her body, then noticed the legs.  We were going to be late for church, so needless to say, she wore tights that day.

A bath was administered later, but on Monday, while putting socks on the girl’s feet, I discovered a stamp on the bottom of her foot, that was missed.  Somehow..

Pink ink.

It is something I am tired of seeing.

I told Ashley (who is the owner of the stamp) that if I saw it down again, saw more pink ink, it was going to go missing.

(That means I am going to throw it in the garbage can, and then throw a bunch of other crap on top of it so she can’t see it or get to it, or even WANT to get to it.)

So here we are today, with more pink ink on a three year-old body. 

Guess where the stamp is?

Now I had just assumed that Ash had left it where Peyton could get it, and talked to her about it when I went to pick her up from school.

“She got it down?”

“Did you really put it up?”

“Yeah..  really high.”

Sure enough, when we got home, upon further investigation (no more assumptions), the doll changing table was found in their closet, acting as the needed step-stool to access the world of big sister stuff.

Ashley wasn’t too broken-hearted when I told her I threw it away..

“It was almost out of ink anyway.”

I wonder how that could be?

Peyton is happy though.  It got her a late morning bubble bath, you know, one of her interests.

A mish-mosh.

This is the beginning of what I am going to call, a “mish-mosh” post. 
It is going to be completely random, but wonderfully random.
Let the randomness begin!!
Last week (which means that I am a week overdue for posting this..) my dear friend Tiffany, sent me a fun package. 
(To tell you the truth, I think she is trying to make up for the time in second grade, when she wouldn’t pack me in her suitcase so I could stow-away on her family trip to Hawaii.  Shhhh!  Don’t tell her I’m onto it.)
(Wink, Wink.)
I was thankful for the mid-winter pick-me-up, not to mention the new-found motivation to bake something!!  Bake anything!!
Wouldn’t these inspire YOU to bake?

But that is not all…
Oh no, because it never is all for me…
I was tickled to read the small print on her tag:
“Thank you for supporting handmade!”

Loved it..
(Thanks again Tiffany!! xo)
My family was thankful for the cupcakes that these darling hot pads undoubtedly inspired.

(See..  you want some of those hot pads too, so you will have the sudden desire to make cupcakes..  am I right?  Or am I sooo right?)
The problem was (or shall I say IS), Peyton (bless her heart) loves these darling hot pads as well.  Forget the obviously “trying to be” hot pads that came with her toy pot and pan set this Christmas…  these are the real deal, and they are cute, face it!
(Have I mentioned how cute they are yet?!")
As soon as I finished with my little photo shoot with the darling hot pads, I set them aside while I mixed my cupcake batter.  I popped them into the oven hoping they might bake just a little faster than usual just so I could use the hot pads sooner.
Peyton had fun during the waiting period though.  She was baking a concoction of her own in her little kitchen, enjoying those darling hot pads.  When she got side tracked, I immediately retrieved my sweet hot pads, and returned them, lovingly, to their new home in my kitchen.  Then I proceeded to wait…
That was the most painfully painful 25 minute wait.
As the kitchen timer went off, the hot pads were nowhere to be found!  (Again.)
It was quite tragic that I had to resort to using the ugly “old” hot pads of mine, they were totally fine the day before, but now..  they weren’t so good.
As soon as those cupcakes were safely out of the oven, in a safe, cool place where they wouldn’t overcook and get all dry, I set out about finding those darling hot pads.
You’ll never guess where I found them..
Under Peyton’s pillow.
It’s a good thing there are two of them. ;)
Speaking of good things…  my friend Em is hosting an auction with some pretty sweet stuff on her blog this week.
Em had her son early and he just couldn’t stay here with us.  All funds raised will go directly to the March of Dimes.
We have all benefitted from this organization, let’s help support her team!
And the last random thing I can pull out of the air today would be that it is “Template Tuesday” at Digi Lovely.
Make sure you read all the great things that can happen to you when you download this FREE template, create with it, and share on Jessica Sprague.  I mean, really, great things.
Oh, P and S…  I am pretty sure the randomness just ended.
Post edit of epic proportions!!
I nearly forgot..
Okay, so I totally forgot.
Go to my friend Tiffany’s Etsy store and check out what other darling goodies she makes.
Support handmade!!!

Peyton’s new skills.

Peyton is advancing quickly in the life of toddler-hood.

Okay, it really isn’t fast.  I remember the other girls doing some things far earlier than Peyton, and I have silently been rejoicing. 

We haven’t had to lock doors, because she hasn’t even tried to open them.  Now, I have to lock them. 

One day, I discovered her eating dark chocolate orange sticks (my muse this time of the year), and I wondered how she got them, they were shut up in my craft room.  When I asked her where she found them, she said, “Come here, I will show you!”  She then led me to my craft room, opened the door, and..  well, you can guess the rest.

A similar event took place involving my lipsticks, that are high on a shelf in my closet.  Peyton emerged from her room with some freshly applied on her face, and the source hidden under her pillow (because I NEVER look there..).  I was positive that an older, similarly make-up obsessed sister had gotten into them, and left them for the littlest to get into as well.  I ranted and railed only to have the accused tell me in the most sincere, pain-stricken, innocent voice, that she didn’t do it.

“Yeah right”, I thought.

I felt awful when I later caught Peyton scaling the shelves in my side of the closet going after more lipstick and perfume.

The apology to the wrongfully accused party was a hard one, but at least Peyton's newly acquired scent made it somewhat bearable.

So we’ve been not only shutting doors, but locking the doors too.

She also recently (by a bad example) has learned that if you climb on the countertop, you have gained access to all sorts of fun things in the upper cupboards.

I had to lecture Ashley last week about the risk of overdosing on vitamins (they are just gummy  ones, probably harmless, but I don’t want them to have them like they are fruit snacks!).  If the girls show an increased amount of love to their uncle Ken, it is only because of that lecture… and because he’s a pretty good guy.

Today, I could hear Peyton up in the cupboards.  Figuring she was after the princess PEZ dispensers, I took my time getting to her. 

I wasn’t fast enough.  She got into MY vitamins.  She now understands why I have to swallow mine whole, and don’t get to chew them up and savor them the way she can hers.

I hope that vomiting a vitamin B12, has impressed a very important lesson in her little mind..

I am thankful that Merrill brings home all of the cleaning products that vendors leave for him to “try out”.  I was able to get the fluorescent yellow vitamin leavings out of the carpet like it was no big deal.

Seriously, do you take B12?  When you go pee, it’s like you swallowed a yellow highlighter!  SO thankful for that carpet cleaner…

Mother’s Day.

Sunday, I was drawn out of sleep, not by breakfast in bed, but by the pointed corner of a homemade mother’s day card, sticking into my scalp.  When my eyes finally agreed to open, just a little, there stood Lynnie-lou.  Her hands were over her mouth hiding part of her smile.  She has been so anxious to give me the many mother’s day surprises she has been making for almost two weeks.  Whenever she would attempt to gift me one, I would tell her to save it, I love those surprises.

Peyton was awake soon after, and Merrill gave her the other gift they went together and got for me.  Ashley was close behind with the gift she had made at pre-school.

It was quite a take for the day, many homemade cards, a popsicle stick picture frame complete with a picture of Ashley and magnets on the back (because we all know I love magnets!), and See’s Truffles.

(I have been doing so well on the no sugar thing too…)

It was amazing that everyone was ready for church EARLY.  I walked over ahead of everyone else to get copies made for our upcoming RS meeting, and was able to relax and ponder for a while by myself before the block began.

Before sacrament meeting started, I was given more homemade cards, one by Peyton herself this time.

Sacrament meeting could have gone smoother.  All three girls were on something.  It was also helpful that Merrill repeatedly got calls from the person running the front desk that morning/afternoon, so he resorted to texting, to avoid leaving the chapel again, repeatedly.  That only added to the circus that was on our bench.

This was only the girls’ opening act, their shenanigans  while my heart was pounding, my body shaking because I felt the urge to bear my testimony.

Peyton kept announcing whenever she “tooted”, rather loudly at that, and that was the volume of her voice, not the “tooting” itself.  I would smile at her, and tell her to shush, but that didn’t satisfy her, I needed to show more enthusiasm.  I tried giving her a thumbs up, and saying “Good job!  Shhhhh!”  But that wasn’t enough either.  Her voice would only get louder with every announcement, so I resorted to the standard answer that suffices at home: “AWESOME!!!”   and she finally quieted down.

Right as Lynn started telling me all about the funny “saggy boob” moment in “Stardust”, a recently viewed family movie, I saw my opening to stand and walk the few steps to the pulpit.

What a note to leave on when I am going to bear my testimony.

As soon as I stood at the pulpit, Peyton started saying something loudly.  I tried to ignore, I was worried that she was making another loud announcement about her bodily functions.  I went on, Lynn flashing her “I love you” sign at me, and managed to get through.  When I sat down, the sister behind me told me that Peyton had been yelling, “I a-wuv you mommy!!”  Then I felt kind of bad that I ignored her. 

We managed to get through the next 10 minutes without threats of beating anyone.  Amazingly.

Lynn was reprimanded by Merrill, while he was texting mind you, for something she had drawn on the mini magna-doodle that was “inappropriate”.  That was all I heard Merrill say, as I was continually trying to keep Ashley from eating her dress like a goat , revealing her princess underwear to the bishopbric with every coming nibble.  Peyton was between the two girls, who were between Merrill and myself (we started out sitting together..) and she was up to her own antics.  I was trying to quiet her while keeping Ashley in check, but thankfully there was someone behind us to help with that.

I have never breathed a louder “AMEN..” at the end of that closing prayer.

The walk home proved to hold the day’s most exciting moment yet. 

I have told the girls repeatedly to WALK across the crosswalk, not to run, Peyton tries to keep up with them, thinks everything is a race.  Ashley decided that day to RUN across the first of two crosswalks we cross to get home.  Peyton, desiring a win, took off directly towards our house to steal the win.

Not on a crosswalk.

Alone.

You should have seen me running in my pencil skirt and heels.

I am sure it was quite a sight.

She got a talking to, as did Ashley, and we all went inside, so I could prepare mother’s day lunch.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have my mother’s day any other way.  There would be relatively little for me to post about,  and lunch would have been top ramen and koolaid if Merrill had made it.  Not the delicious chuck roast, carrots, mashed potatoes, rolls, and gravy from the drippings, that we did have.

That, and it was my fault, I had to open my big mouth about how good the girls were the previous week at stake conference.

Happy Dancing

It’s official; today, I am FREEE!!
I had two BIG events this week, that I just had to get passed and then, I would be footloose and fancy free.
This morning came, the night before done, over with, a success, and all I had to do was get the yearbook (the WHOLE thing) in all it’s pride and glory, 40 pages, all assembled in 4 and a half days (thanks help!!  You know who you all are..) off my computer (okay, it’s still there, just in case) and onto a flash drive, into a box with all the other goodies I was supposed to use (but didn’t so it is THAT much better..) and to the school ready for a pick up.
I was on task, things were smoother than..  something that is smooth (my tired mind doesn’t want to produce a word there, so plug one in of your own choosing..) and then, as I was exiting the laundry room, I could hear the phone ringing.  I didn’t get there in time only to find that the school had called.
Lynn was sick.
One sick little girl, one trip to the doctor later (only to find out that it is most likely a virus..  goodbye co-pay, nice to know it was for nothing.) we were back at home and I was back at it.
In the middle of my file compressing (the flash drive was too small for my kind of yearbook..) it was all too quiet.
“Peyton, what are you doing?”
“Nuh-sing mom.”
Nothing my butt..

I look forward to playing a bit tomorrow, doing things that I am really excited to do (sleep in?) cut some fabric (that’s for you Amanda!!) sew….  catch up on blogs?
Oh, the possibilities!
(*This wasn’t a complain or whining session, just a “hey that’s the life of a mom moment.  Hope you enjoyed it!)

Further proof..

Here’s more recent proof that a two year old lives among us:

She painted her own toes Sunday after I had just finished the other girls’ fingers and toes.  I turned from curling Lynn’s hair to find this, and the blogger/scrapper mom that I am, ran for the camera before I grabbed the polish remover. :)

While making the FHE treat last night, she was right there with me, asking what different kitchen items were.  The next thing I hear is, “Uh-oh mom..  mess.”
She found the straws!
But isn’t that smile sweet?
Life is pretty exciting around here to say the least! :)

Terrific Twos..

It is Saturday today, (newsflash, I know) and I was looking forward to sleeping in today.  Every other day in this house, I am the wake-up Nazi.  It is quite difficult most days convincing the young’uns that it is time to get up and get going so we won’t be late.  So you’d think they would relish their Saturday to sleep-in just as well as I do…
Not quite the way it goes.
Peyton and Ashley are up at the time I am normally trying to wake them up every other day.  Peyton is so chipper with her first thing in the morning request of “choc milk mom?”.  Girl after my own heart….
So that’s where the attempt to sleep-in ended and my day began.
I decided to forgo eating breakfast at the table (breakfast was a bowl of Lucky Charms this morning, I needed them!) and eat it while watching the news in bed (where’s the snow?!).  When I had finished my bowl of sugary goodness, slurped the remains of the sweet milk, I got ready to hop in the shower.
Peyton came to me in distress.
“Mess mom!”
I followed her back out to my bedroom only to find her small bowl of the same tasty breakfast spilled on my bed.
ON MY SHEETS THAT HAD JUST BEEN WASHED YESTERDAY.
But amazingly not a drop or morsel on the ground the distance from her seat at the table to the bed.
(By the way, it was on your side honey :)..)
(Sigh.)
Into the washer went the sheets, AGAIN, while I went to wash myself in the shower.
I got out of the shower only to find another surprise courtesy of my little two year old..


It is a priceless original that was mostly removed by Mr. Clean and his magic sponge.
The little puncture marks, however, were not removed.
She has also created other works of art, on objects which we also use to lounge..

Isn’t two terrific?
Thank heavens for microfiber!
Oh, and Mr.Clean. :)

Too Much Information..

It's been a while since I have done this..
Cover your wee ones eyes, or click on that little "x" in the upper right if you are squeamish...
It's "that time of the month"... or so I think.
I have had cramps from Hades since Sunday evening. There have been lulls between, but not today.. oh no, not today.
Funny thing is, there is NOTHING to show for it. Not even spotting! I would really love to have something to show for all of this pain and torture, but I have nada.
I have been taking dosages of Ibuprofen that a postpartum woman takes while still residing in the hospital.. heck, I would gladly accept this pain if I had a newborn to cuddle, a maxi pad sized much like a small crib mattress to bleed on..
See, there it is.. TMI.
I did take a pregnancy test today (it was negative Mer-Bear.. don't pull your hair out..) just because this cycle has been so weird!! I had my flip-out at the beginning of the cycle, followed by ovulation that that beat all, or so I thought. I could even manage to tell you which fallopian tube the egg was enjoying it's slide down, that is how precise and accurate the pain was. Then there was insomnia... The bloat was killing me last week, along with lingering insomnia.. then my chin exploded.
That leads us to today.
I decided to take it easy, take a HOT shower after a while, see if that would help my aching back and the feeling that my uterus was falling out, only to find this when I got out:


You'd think I would have covered it all.. shut all necessary doors, locked knives and guns away, turned off the stove and the iron.. but she manages to find one missed item..
Sheesh.
It only continues to get better. I vacuumed the basement, turned around to go upstairs to attend to dishes, only to return downstairs, to find that the girls helped themselves to the packaging Styrofoam, broke it up and made a snow storm for the Little People.
I hate styrofoam..
But I still love being a woman.

Hey, I'm not the only one..

This is what happens when big sis enjoys one of the treats, leaves the remnants on the table, but baby sis climbs up to polish it off.
Various places in my house are blue now as well.