Just a reminder..

Thanks NieNie... I have been needing this...

Blessings..

I got a new calling today.. another one, I should say.
I have been feeling out of it since my release back in November.. really out of it.
I felt, quite a while ago, that I would be teaching in Relief Society, that was where I was supposed to be, not to mention that it sounded so fun! So I was thoroughly confused when I was called to be Cubmaster.
It didn't feel right.
But I can't say no..
I prayed that things would work out.
Since I consider myself to be a fairly positive person, I was looking for all the positives in the calling of Cubmaster..
- I would get to work with Christie, who is Committee Chair..
- I would get to work with Julie, the new Primary President..
- I would get to be with those fun boys! Love 'em!!
- Pine wood derbys..
- Once a month pack meeting..
- No more correlation, especially since this year it's early morning.. sorry Julie.. :)
But I still felt out of place, so not "with it".. I felt like my spiritual connection was fading. I felt like I was supposed to be doing something else, not this. Am I losing it?
I felt so confused..
Then this call came.
I felt so much better! I FEEL so much better!!
Further testimony that my prayers are answered.
It was further confirmed in a conversation I had with the RS president after I was set apart today.
She knew where I was supposed to be, waaayy back when I first felt it. And she waited, bless her heart! Her words, and let me tell you she is the sweetest person EVER: "I wanted to slap someone when they called you as Cubmaster!! You were supposed to be mine!!"
I am so excited for this, I feel like I have been preparing for it for a long time now.. I felt so good, when they called me to stand in Sacrament meeting, to have me and others sustained, when the sister sitting behind our family said, "Yess!!"
Approval.
So Good!!

No Primary today...

It was kind of sad, really surreal, to not go to primary today. It was so weird walking the kids to primary, turning around, and heading to Relief Society. I was glad that they put me right to work saying the opening prayer. The lesson was just what I have been focused on lately, the last days, preparation. It was so nice to have zero worries, to go and feel the Spirit and be taught. I did forget, and it really isn't ever a concern or worry to me, but I was asked to speak (kind of) in Sacrament meeting today. It was really a testimony, but was pretty much asked to give a five minute talk and bear my testimony on the worth of souls. That's something else I have been struggling with... my own worth.
I was asked to teach the lesson in Relief Society next Sunday, I am way excited about that!

What up?!

We've been keeping busy... that's how life is!
We had josh over the other night. Boys sure are fun! I just wonder if he feels the same way about little girls (note Ashley's expression)... our little girls to be more specific.
Last night, Mer's mom and dad took the two older girls to a Bonneville game to watch Kaitlyn and MiKell. We enjoyed dinner at El Matador with Pey. Everyone there missed the girls :(. It was chilly at the game, despite me bundling them up... but they sure had a good time! Love the shirts! Thanks Darlene and Dixon!
We also had a hands on (or should I say mouth on) lesson why we don't leave certain things where Pey can reach... Lynn has a hard time remembering this... her blue marker was the victim.
Today at Super Saturday for our Tri-Ward Relief Society activity, I finished Peyton's scarf. I had finished her beanie a while ago... this was the closest I could get to "Peyton Green"... I wish I could have found something more vibrant... It was fun to sit and visit!
Now she is ready for all of this cold weather and the little bit of snow we got today. Yes, snow.
We had such a darling speaker while we ate lunch today. She was the mission President's wife, Sister Joyce. What a cute lady! She said so many things that I want to remember forever! Christie said it best when she said, "I just wish I had a tape recorder!" I agree.
She talked about how we are all daughters of God. That we should be treated as such. She talked about personal revelation, Atonement experiences, how we shouldn't feel like we should have to do "everything". She also talked about priorities. I learned many important lessons.
One lesson:
"Is there a dog in the room?"
She related an experience she had with a young woman when she was teaching seminary. This girl spoke to her mother in such a disrespectful tone, Sister Joyce asked her, "Is there a dog in the room? Because I know you wouldn't speak to your mother that way." I'm gonna pull that one out on the kids when they get mouthy with me, with one another too.
Another lesson:
"Be Still."
When I am running around as a mother, I need to be still. Sure, there are lots of things that need to be done, many things that I want to do. However, I need to pause, be still, and listen. I need to be able to receive promptings and revelation and I can't make myself too busy to hear.
I was so thankful for this afternoon. I felt like a half-full cup. After going there, I feel full to the brim!
Merrill was so sweet and took such good care of all the girls, holding Peyton and snuggling her as she napped!
I am so blessed!

This morning while in the tub, I heard Ashley talking to herself. She said: "Why do I lub (love) myselp (myself) so much?" I just had to laugh because it sounded so vain! Then it got me thinking... Self worth.
I kid around so much about "my condition", i.e. pregnancy, and how Merrill is so not attracted to me, his comments ("you look like Homer in that episode when he wore a mumu"), and mine too... For an example on a comment I've made about myself, yesterday, while playing outside in the snow, Merrill threw a snowball at me. It ended up going down my shirt. I asked him what I did to deserve that. He answered with, "Sorry, I was aiming for your butt." My response: "How could you miss that?"
Back to the point... I feel comfortable kidding around and sharing every mundane detail because I really do feel sure about myself. Pregnancy and all. I can get a little homesick for my non-prego state every once in a while, like when I catch a glimpse of my old clothes, old pictures, okay they're not old, just not present... I remember this fall, feeling really homesick when Brooke tried on a really cute pair of jeans from Old Navy... She ended-up not keeping them, she said they just didn't look right on her, I told her how jealous I was... They had waist!
I feel really blessed thinking back on a time in my life when I didn't have much confidence. When I felt worthless. Funny, it was when Merrill entered my life that I began to feel a different way. His pokes and little comments don't bother me, mine don't either. I know of some wives who would run away in tears, humiliated and offended. Usually we both start laughing so hard over it, there are tears! I know how much he loves me, no matter what. But more importantly, he has helped me to love myself, and how to rely on one who's opinion matters most to me. Not what everyone else thinks. Besides, I only have, like, 2... 2 and half more months to go...