Who said that?...

Whoever said "Life will slow down after the holidays.." totally jinxed me.
Oops..  it was me!
That's what I get for opening my big mouth...  I should have learned by now.  Last time I did that, I had to go and brag about us never having to use an antibiotic with the girls, we'd never had an ear infection.  A week later...
Then there was the time a friend's little girl broke her leg, and I had to open my big mouth and say that we have never had to visit the doctor for an emergency of the like, then the next day, Ashley fell out of the shopping cart, on her head...
See, I should have learned by this point to keep my big mouth shut!
Ohhh...  or maybe if I open my big mouth and say how I am SOOO busy, and how I know lofe will get even busier, then I won't! ;)
Does reverse psychology work when you use it on yourself?
I have a LIST of things to post about, but not the time..  That would be great if time would multiply, just for me.
Part of the chaos, is that I got a new calling (YAY!!!!) instead of working with stinky little boys (not really, they were fun..) I get to work with the Relief Society sisters, more.  I have been called to serve as the Relief Society Meeting Coordinator.  When the bishop first asked me, and then told me that they would be releasing me as Cubmaster, I butted in and asked if I would still be teaching.
I don't know if it was so much an ask as it was a plead that I could still teach..  I LOVE TEACHING!!!
I know that life will be busy, in a fun way, so I will just have to stop beating myself up over simply jotting down the goings on until I can write them out in their entirety.
But let me tell you..  there are some laughs in store! :D
                 

Blessings..

I got a new calling today.. another one, I should say.
I have been feeling out of it since my release back in November.. really out of it.
I felt, quite a while ago, that I would be teaching in Relief Society, that was where I was supposed to be, not to mention that it sounded so fun! So I was thoroughly confused when I was called to be Cubmaster.
It didn't feel right.
But I can't say no..
I prayed that things would work out.
Since I consider myself to be a fairly positive person, I was looking for all the positives in the calling of Cubmaster..
- I would get to work with Christie, who is Committee Chair..
- I would get to work with Julie, the new Primary President..
- I would get to be with those fun boys! Love 'em!!
- Pine wood derbys..
- Once a month pack meeting..
- No more correlation, especially since this year it's early morning.. sorry Julie.. :)
But I still felt out of place, so not "with it".. I felt like my spiritual connection was fading. I felt like I was supposed to be doing something else, not this. Am I losing it?
I felt so confused..
Then this call came.
I felt so much better! I FEEL so much better!!
Further testimony that my prayers are answered.
It was further confirmed in a conversation I had with the RS president after I was set apart today.
She knew where I was supposed to be, waaayy back when I first felt it. And she waited, bless her heart! Her words, and let me tell you she is the sweetest person EVER: "I wanted to slap someone when they called you as Cubmaster!! You were supposed to be mine!!"
I am so excited for this, I feel like I have been preparing for it for a long time now.. I felt so good, when they called me to stand in Sacrament meeting, to have me and others sustained, when the sister sitting behind our family said, "Yess!!"
Approval.
So Good!!

and the new calling is.....

any bets?.. anyone?..
well, my deductive reasoning led me to believe that i was to be either a- a den leader or b- cubmaster...
the answer is b...
hello yellow scout leader shirt!
i am excited... i get to work hand-in-hand with the best auxiliary in the whole church... primary ;)... and with my best buddy christie as committee chair... more "meetings" with julie.. ahem... president dickamore.. how could it get any funner or better?

Weekend update...

We've been quite busy...
Friday, we had our ward party, which had some awesome entertainment I should add :). I know that the world of gasoline is getting back on track when it costs only $16.00 to fill up the civic. I've been slowly decorating my house and I have had a craft room of projects to finish..
That's what I did Saturday... decorating (still not done!) and crafts. Peyton began walking :( or :) I dunno... my emotions are kinda wacky about that.


Today, fast Sunday, and I got to fast!!! For the first time in like, 19 months, and it was just what I needed. I still don't have a calling... and I probably won't be able to sit still on Tuesdays or during Sunday School until I do get one. I know that Dewey understands. He came to me at the ward party, and asked how it felt. I told him I really didn't like it. I was having anxiety and feeling unwanted, not needed. He said that he knew just how I felt. He felt the same way after he was released from the bishopric . It was a month before he got his new calling. He said, "It really hurt because I felt like they didn't need me, and worse yet, the ward kept functioning without me! I wanted to move..." Someone who understands... the ward doesn't quite function the same way without him there... (ahhh Dewey [heart.. sigh.. sniff..] love that guy!) So I'll just have to keep on being patient!
Peyton also cut her other bottom tooth... and nursing is 100% done :(...

I am Switzerland...

It just seems like the trials keep on coming!
I know that the end of days is here, that things will only get worse until they get better, but it is still so hard to see people that I love so much, hurting so much.
After Peyton's appointment Wednesday, I was feeling so down and worried for her, what might be coming. Then, on Thursday, the rest of my world started to unravel. Mom called asking if I knew anything about the situation with the business. There have been some noises that manufacturing would be shutting down. I was so worried for mom and dad, Joe and Jackie, but at the same time, worried for the rest of my family. The economy is so unstable, feels like the verge of a depression, and when the business is not centered on a necessity, it is scary. I asked Merrill about it, but her really didn't say much. Not a good thing, but he wasn't opening up about it. That same day, Brooke told me about her dad's work shutting down, he's in plywood, and since the building market sucks just as bad as everything else, he will be out of a job soon.
On top of that, Emalee Rausch, who's been trying to get pregnant even before Mer and I were trying for Lynn, had her baby at 22 weeks. He lived for 2 hours. My heart aches for her! She seems so positive, I was there with them when they were sealed in the temple, and I hope that will bring them peace. But at these times, I watch the wheat being sifted before my very eyes. People's faith is being shaken, and some are not standing.
Friday, manufacturing was shut down. It is unknown if it will ever re-open. China kills us. Joe was the one to deliver the hard news to his guys, including dad. He's pretty upset. I have to admit, that I was worried for Merrill's job, Dixon has always said that the warehouse doesn't make him any money... but Merrill still has a job. I feel so blessed, but guilty at the same time.
This is where Switzerland comes in...
It's my dad and mom, my brother and my sister-in-law, nieces and nephew, on one side...
On the other, it's my Father-in-law, my husband...
It seems complicated. I can see both sides, see the truth and the need.. but it's hard.
I needed the temple. We went on Saturday for Dixon's birthday. I felt peace. I still felt the hurt and heartache, the stress, but I felt peace. I know that everything will be okay, eventually. It's that enduring that seems to be the most difficult part.
While at the veil, I knew, that for all to go well with Peyton, she needs to have a Priesthood blessing. I am thankful for that confirmation, the blessing it is to have these moments.
After the temple, my heart broke for Jackie. Joe wasn't going to go get ice cream with the rest of us, and Jackie, being the good wife that she is, stayed by his side, even though it was her dad's birthday, and she wanted to be with her family.
I pray that hearts will be softened.
Yesterday, I was released. It's pretty bittersweet. While I loved it, and will miss it, that stress will be nice to not have to deal with while dealing with the new trials that arise.
I just keep praying for that attitude adjustment. Working with the Priesthood leadership in this ward, is no cake walk. The dis-organization absolutely kills me!
I am excited to see what will come next for me. It is weird to think that this Sunday, I'll have no responsibility. My biggest stress will be packing the diaper bag! i am excited to focus more on my own spiritual development. Teaching my own kids.
I feel such a draw to the temple, like it is so pertinent in my life right now. I pray that Merrill's heart will soften to this, and have a desire to have us go together.
Christie and I went to a Relief Society fireside last night. It was just what I needed. Sacrament meeting was too. "The worth of souls is great"... I needed to hear the messages that were shared. I was feeling pretty low with the way things had gone with Brother Marsh, he left me feeling like I hadn't done the job correctly, or even finished what I was supposed to do. I needed the refill I got yesterday. I was so happy to be reaffirmed about those things I feel are important. Bishop Alexander and Dewey Nicholson came to me after wards, and said such nice things, that made me feel better too.
I just need to strengthen my family for what is to come... we just need to keep on keepin' on!

Cheez Whiz!!!

We are ready for a vacation!!!
Now the countdown begins for Powell...
I got my board shorts and Pey's life jacket...But Cheez Whiz! It was a good Sunday!
8 new kids in primary today, only one a visitor. It helps that we had an active family move into the ward. I also got all of my names approved by the bishop!!! That's a major accomplishment... hopefully, Primary and Scouts will be fully staffed for a little while...:) The chorister even apologized for her comment and attitude a couple of weeks back. That was nice. She'll be out of town for the first two weeks of September, and I get to lead! Now we'll work on our songs for the program and get the kids weaned off the pics...
Merrill is pretty much back into the swing of things. Yesterday, while we were at the primary activity (which was awesome... how much fun can a bunch of kids have while hurling water balloons at their primary president??) he mowed, edged, and trimmed the lawn all by himself. We worked on the deck for a while until he ditched me for a night out with his brothers... glad he had fun :)...

Just venting...

Here's your warning:
I am just venting... there are no intended bulls eyes... I am not flinging my words in any certain direction... I am not talking about YOU... I do not intend to hurt feelings... I am not looking for solutions... I am not seeking help... I am not trying to be "Debbie Downer"... This is just how life is right now, I am usually positive, but I just don't feel like being Pollyanna today... I am just venting! So if you don't like it... wait till I update later.
The stress of today actually began long ago. Sunday's are no longer the relaxing, "put all of your cares aside day" like they used to be. Primary is always changing. It would help if they would stop taking away people who like to be in primary, who the kids love... but it changes. It would also be helpful if the people who are called to serve in primary, would simply do what they were called to do, or did what they say they would do.
Yesterday: I find out that teachers will be gone.
Today: I find out that more people were gone with little or no notice. It's great to come to primary and some pretty key players aren't there. Not to mention that the list of names I submitted for callings, A MONTH AGO... still hasn't been dealt with completely. Or that names on said list are no longer available, even though they were once told they could be "mine".
They are also very stealthily trying to take Merrill away from me, like we don't talk?
He's freaked out about that, change... Oh, and after the doctor's appointment yesterday, where THE BEST DOCTOR, DR. CARDON... gave us more information in 3 minutes than we had gotten in one week!!! He told us that the little cyst, needs to be surgically removed... cha-ching$!$
Then I have a music leader who isn't teaching the required songs for the program but then goes on to be huffy when sharing time eats into her music time... they are songs that the kids have sung for x number of years... this is just a review of all those years plus the last 3 weeks. 5 minutes of singing time is not a big deal. I don't think I hid my annoyance very well... Christie heard it in my voice, and I cannot hide my feelings well in my facial expressions... Julie both saw and heard... I hope I got my point across, "You aren't teaching any new songs... these are the same songs from the past few weeks... it's just a review... five minutes will be okay, they are wrapping-up sharing time." She left right after music time in Junior Primary... like she regularly stays for sacrament meeting... and she's supposed to be teaching the kids the gospel in song? But she doesn't stay for the most vital meeting in the Sunday block? Yah.
So then I visit with the counselor over us... that's where I find out that close to nothing has been done, and the names that were once mine, aren't mine any more, apparently there is something much better out there for them than serving in the Primary. Yada yada yada... I zoned out, I couldn't take anymore bad news...
Let me just tie my own noose now...
Mer was in pain, so we stayed to take the sacrament and then go home to medicate, and vent... To only have Julie chasing me down the hall... "Look at this!" The program has the Primary children down to sing a medley of songs... Ummmmm.... we have no chorister (remember, she went home), not to mention nobody told me about this... I would later find out that it was a "select group of children" who were prepared, and they just worded it wrong, well, maybe not wrong, but not in the best, most clear way...
So here I am, half dreading the week ahead...
Everything continues to pile on up, and I am bugged...
This is all I can recollect at the moment, and what I can say politely...
So there ya go.
Did I mention we are thinking of moving?

Favorite thing about summertime...

'Tis a tie!!!
Fireworks AND thunderstorms...



















I love the smell of them both and the atmosphere that both create... I also love that both seem to gather my family to one common place... they also make awesome pics!
Peyton is 5 months old today...
Isn't she so stinkin' cute! I got this one on the FIRST shot! She is so fun... she loved the fireworks tonight and didn't cry, unlike Lynn's first time.
Church was okay today... it was "correlation Sunday..." that means lots of fun for the family no matter how prepared I am. Sharing time went especially well today, both Junior and Senior Primary were interested. It was about "obedience and faithfulness". I have many experiences in those departments...
Only a fraction of calls were extended based on my list, yes, a list. We'll just have to exercise more patience and that faithfulness! Poor Mer-Bear... in more ways than one... his arm, the cyst still hasn't drained, and he hurts. It's not a common thing for him to give up his Sunday's with Peyton in the nursery with him, but he just hurt too bad. Poor guy. We'll have to see about the "other thing"... later this week...
It was so funny thing tonight going to WSU for the concert and fireworks. No phone calls were made to meet, everyone just showed up. Well, Clint did call trying to find us, but everyone knows, where we are there. We have sat in the same spot on the soccer field since the first year we were married. Good times, fun memories.

And now, life is simplified...

So now Peyton will take a binky!!!
Life is easier...
Our date last night was fun. Mer actually shopped for himself! As a bonus, he even remarked how it wasn't painful... that's always good. We went hunting for steel toed work boots, but got him casual shoes instead, shoes that I have always wanted to see him in, and I must have persuaded him... He got new jeans too. Crab legs for dinner, how could this have been a better date?!
Today at church, well, we'll just say CRAZY!!! I have had my eyes opened to the fact that I am not the only one who has been having trials calling-wise. I visited with the Bishop, and he too, isn't faring so well. So I guess that I had better start praying again, ;) and pray for my leaders, who sometimes feel like my enemies...
Hopefully things will look up soon.
Happy Birthday Emma!

aaahhhhh... [sigh]

so "the phone call" finally came...
can you say "relief"? boy, i sure can. nothing like having fresh, cleaned-out air! understanding is awesome, even when it takes two days to get it.
it's official... peyton is getting bigger. i had to adjust her straps in her car seat so they would sit just above her shoulders instead of down behind her back...
we went and watched as they poured and leveled the hotel floor. the machinery they use is so cool! the girls really enjoyed watching, it took a while to get them to want to come home with me. i wanted to get my hands around some tylenol, i could feel the beginning of a tension headache... hhmmm... what could have been giving me tension???
ashley's new saying: "that breaks my beelings..." (remember, b = f in "ashley speak"...)

We must love you...

You know that you must be loved when we drag our little family out of bed at 6 am to go to breakfast for your birthday...
Happy 50th Birthday Darlene!!! (And Doreen too...)
Really, the girls were quite comedic with their emotionality. Normal daily emotion + getting up earlier than usual = a lot of crying over stupid stuff...
I did finish the poster this morning around 2:30 am. Oh, how a bad day can throw me off course so horribly! I ate one whole layer of the chocolates. They tasted awful after the first 5 or so... I forced myself to eat more, I was so mad, I just wanted something to occupy me, well, more than the poster was, anyway.
So "the follow-up" phone call never came, big surprise. Even with me leaving a message to remind the dude of "the follow-up" phone call. I decided, after dwelling on it all day, that I am done with being prim and polite, that I need to stand up for myself and make sure that people understand what it is that I am saying, not turning things around into what is easier for them to hear or understand. So my message was kind of curt and to the point... maybe that's why I didn't get a call back... I grew some balls.
Intimidating...
I got my house all cleaned today!!! All I have left is the floors that need to be Swiffered... not too shabby.
This was what I really wanted to do today:
My Mother's day gift, that I have been nagging Mer about it for a year or two. It's a piece of sheet metal, 16 inches by 8 feet long. I attached it to the wall (all by myself, I really should have waited for help...) and now I have a place to put all of those cute embellishments that I buy where I can see them, and remember to use them!
Thanks Jen for the cookies! One of those little things that helped to make this day better than yesterday....

Lofty Aspirations...

Here's the 3 month old...Here's a funny one of her...
See that crazy look in her eye? She's totally gangster, dude... "What? You wanna piece of me?!?", she says...
And this... getting to my post title... THIS is an indication of how my day went... and I had better post about it before it is tomorrow.
So if you have talked to me today (5-13-08) you may want to skim, or you may want to be enlightened as to my shortness and grouchiness...
Yes that is 2 (two) caffeine free Diet Cokes... I am like an alcoholic when it comes to bad days and pop... I need it! ( I don't want it, I just need it, to breath, to fell, to know I'm alive... -TOOL...) I can't always restrain myself.
So...
I got up, got Lynn ready and off to pre-school. Got Ash and Peyton all ready, I was waiting to take a shower after I got Peyton down for her nap which she was going to take after I took the above "3 month old" photos...
Knock-knock...
Surprise!
Visitors.
Me: no make-up, no hair (but a nice greasy mess atop my head...), and pjs...
While they are here, mom comes along...
Surprise! (#2)
So my lofty aspirations of #1- showering and being all ready and decent to go and pick Lynn up from school have been flushed away. Was it rude of me to at least clean my house while they were here? ( which was aspiration #2, by the way...)
Mom went to get Lynn.
She did bring back lunch for all of us. Good thing: I didn't have to argue with the girls what to fix for lunch. Bad thing: Mom wanted to eat outside, with all the kids so they could play and eat... let's just drag out my day more... see, I am still a little grumpy...
Everyone is gone, and my shower is ready to finally begin... oops! Gotta pump, Peyton is asleep, and the ol' milk factory is producing extra these days... Lynn comes upstairs to tell me that Ash has taken a ballpoint pen to one of my CLOTH COVERED SCRAPBOOK ALBUMS.
Aaarrghhh!!!
Hand sanitizer works ok, for future reference, but doesn't take it out completely.
Yeah, I got out of the shower after 3 pm. Started cleaning my house around 4:30ish... My vacuum sucks so bad, it DOESN"T SUCK... so while I am vacuuming my entire bedroom with the hand attachment to be sure to get up all of the lint that bugs me so bad... (red lint on creme carpet...) I notice Ash sitting on the windowsill in their room... her back is pressing against the screen... the bedrooms are on the SECOND STORY.... I get her to get down and explain what "mortality" means... frankly, I have invested too much in this kid (a c-section and kernel removal from the nose...) to have her plunge to her death from a second story window...
So now I need a- a new vacuum, or b- new carpet so my existing vacuum will work correctly, and c- bunk beds, placed away from any windows. If Mer calls me now... this is gonna be one expensive conversation...
Got dinner done! But how hard can turkey sandwiches be???
Got flowers planted, but not all of them...
Still needed to get out to the store to get a project that needs to be done tomorrow, that I found out about yesterday... but Peyton is hungry, and apparently I missed phone calls while out in the yard...
Yeah, that's where the grumpiness kicks in to full gear...
Church stuff...
I wish that leaders would appreciate that I can have revelation too. I have been given stewardship over the Primary, my calling. And they just don't get it...
I do appreciate GOOD FRIENDS who put up with me and help me!!! ;)
But we still have positions to fill, promptings to follow through with, and more families moving away...
So I go to Wal-Mart to get those supplies for that project.... at least I had exact change...
I have my project waiting, my "supplies" to help me get it done, and two missed episodes of CSI on on-demand to help me also...
My vacuum is still waiting for me in the living room.
I don't even want to list what else I had planned to get accomplished for today... and yet I know that so many others have it worse... this is just my kind of crummy though...
See... "lofty aspirations"...

Inevitable spiritual high today... had a baptism. After a little chaos (there always has to be some...), everything went well. I love my calling, but especially this part, you are guaranteed to feel the Spirit! No matter what else is going on in your life, you always feel it.
I cannot wait for tomorrow to be over with, though! I have all of my puzzle pieces put together, and I need to have the stamp of approval, if you will, stamped upon them. There has been so much that needs to be re-figured in Primary (and Scouts, oh and how!), and I've been ready and waiting... just waiting for that one phone call! FRUSTRATING!
We watched Evan today while Brooke took pictures for Ken and Promise. He is so dang cute! I love to see the different personalities in the kids in our family. He and Merrill played together for awhile and it was too cute. Merrill was trying so hard to get him to laugh out-loud. You see, when Evan is tired, he does this cute little inside chuckle. He wants to laugh out-loud but it's like he's just too tired. Merrill kept working at it but finally gave up. He is just such a sweet baby. I was hoping he might help me in convincing Merrill to go again (Yes, mom, I know that I am pregnant...) for a boy.
The girls are watching "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer", again. We watched it last night and they both loved it so much! They especially love the "Thing". I've never heard Lynn giggle so much, she thinks his voice is hilarious! They also love that his favorite phrase is, "Aw, crap!" Which must be really funny since it is a garbage word in our house.
I am on my way to make divinity, I've had a craving. Let's hope it turns out, it is my first time doing it solo....