Don't shoot the messenger..

I am composing this post as a follow-up to this post.. primarily in response to a particular comment.
I published that post for two reasons.
1- To be a voice. In a world where it seems the majority is not embracing what my values are, instead in opposition of them, I felt I needed to voice what I believe. We will be held accountable if we stand by and do nothing, say nothing, and not stand up for what we believe in, no matter how un-popular it may be. (Think of Miss California!!)
2- For my children.. and grandchildren.. and great-grandchildren, and so on.. I want this to stand as a record, an accurate one of who I was, what I believed. I blog primarily for them. Not for an audience (although I am totally aware that there is one).
While I enjoy comments from the blogging world, I don't say the things I say for praise, admiration, or to "stir it up". I don't do it to be contentious.
I in no way, wanted to come off as if I were telling people what they should do. My family plan doesn't apply to everyone. That's why Heavenly Father answers prayers individually, gives us the blessing of personal revelation.
I stated my personal experience, what decision me and my husband came to for our family, and presented quotes from a prophet of God that helped to guide us in our decision.
Some took it one way. Others took it another way. It wasn't designed to be judgmental, or to hurt feelings.
But I find it interesting, that counsel from our prophets comes directly from a loving Heavenly Father, who desires only for our happiness. I am here to testify, that when we abide by the counsels given, we are happy. Sometimes it isn't easy, but it is always, most certainly worth it.
I think the key word in President Kimball's quotes that impacted me the most, was "necessary".
I know of some who have personal issues, and getting out of their home for a few hours every week has been prescribed by a therapist. Others find themselves in situations out of their control, where they must go outside of the home to find work to support their family.
There are others, who do it for "fun"(?), to "get away", who do it to pay for the un-necessary.
I have an awesome sister-in-law (doubly awesome :D) who works to pay for health and dental care for their family.
But I am not judging what is necessity and what isn't..

My mother stayed at home.
I was oblivious to the sacrifices she and my dad made for us; I was a child. They never made a big deal out of the fact that she stayed at home. They just did it.
I didn't really grasp what it took for her to stay at home.
When I got married, and was responsible for grocery shopping and preparing meals, it hit me.
Top Ramen is about 8 cents a package.
Dry pinto beans are somewhere in the 50 cent range.
Jiffy cornbread mix is 44 cents (I know because I use a lot of it.. hooked from childhood, I guess.).
These were commonly our meals. They were cheap.
Mom & dad very rarely got anything for each other for Christmas, they put all they had into us. My mom now tells me that she would cry most Christmas Eves, worried that we would find our gifts inadequate; she always wished they could give us more.
But my mother stayed at home. She could have gone to work, we could have had awesome meals, some really extravagant gifts! But to my parents, abiding by the council (not a commandment) of the prophet, her staying at home was more important than these things.
I cannot even recollect what I got every year for Christmas.
I can recollect my mom being home everyday after school. Being there when she answered my phone call from school telling her I wasn't feeling well. I can recall everyday, all that she taught me, everyday.
I am blessed because of her choice. My family today, is blessed by her choice, by her example. She has touched so many others' lives through her service.

It all comes down to agency and our personal situation.
Some HAVE to.
Others WANT to.
We will be judged for the intents of our heart, not necessarily by our actions.
I honestly do not know what I would do, if my family found ourselves in a situation where it was necessary for me to go to work. I know it would take faith to do it. I applaud those women out there who sacrifice in that way, to do what is necessary for their family, and for their own situation.
To further prove that I didn't dream up plans of what's best for other families while I was riding on my high horse or that one instance when I was sunbathing on my soapbox (read the sarcasm).. here are some quotes that I found inspiring from other prophets that carry a similar message...

"Because the trend in society today is away from the values and principles the Lord has given us, you will almost certainly be called upon to defend that which you believe. Unless the roots of your testimony are firmly planted, it will be difficult for you to withstand the ridicule of those who challenge your faith. When firmly planted, your testimony of the gospel, of the Savior, and of our Heavenly Father will influence all that you do throughout your life. The adversary would like nothing better than for you to allow derisive comments and criticism of the Church to cause you to question and doubt. Your testimony, when constantly nourished, will keep you safe."

- President Thomas S. Monson

"Teach your children when they are very young and small, and never quit. As long as they are in your home, let them be your primary interest... God bless you, dear friends. Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value. Let your first interest be in your home. The baby you hold in your arms will grow quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

"A successful parent is one who has loved, one who has sacrificed, and one who has cared for, taught, and ministered to the needs of a child."

- President Howard W. Hunter

"God established that fathers are to preside in the home. Fathers are to provide, love, teach, and direct. A mother’s role is also God-ordained. Mothers are to conceive, bear, nourish, love, and train. They are to be helpmates and are to counsel with their husbands. There is no inequality between the sexes in God’s plan. It is a matter of division of responsibility."
"Because some parents have departed from the principles the Lord gave for happiness and success, many families throughout the world are undergoing great stress and trauma. Many parents have been enticed to abandon their responsibilities in the home to seek after an elusive “self-fulfillment.” Some have abdicated parental responsibilities for pursuit of material things, unwilling to postpone personal gratification in the interest of their children’s welfare."

- President Ezra Taft Benson

And a favorite of Merrill and mine:
"Tremendously important to the child's upbringing is the presence of Mother in the home. Of late years, mothers have left their homes to work in such numbers that the Church authorities are much concerned, and make a call to mothers, 'Come back home, Mothers, come back home.' We realize that there is an occasional mother who must go out to work. There are some mothers whose children are all reared, and who are thus free to work. But for mothers to leave children when there is not an absolute necessity is a hazardous thing. Generally, children just cannot grow up properly disciplined under babysitters, no matter how good these may be, as they can under a mother who loves them so much that she would die for them."

-President Spencer W. Kimball

We all do this, whether we work or stay at home.. we support one another as sisters, as women.. I don't say this to judge, but to explain my stance on this issue.
So there was the message.. I am just choosing to be the messenger.. I did not come up with the concept.
Please don't shoot me :)

Life..

Sometimes it takes a wake-up call to remind us, yet again, of how fleeting life is.
I am thankful for the gospel, for my testimony of it.
I am thankful that life doesn't end with the grave, that those we love, live on, and we will be with them again.
Lives are taken too young, it seems to us.
I look at the deaths of some pretty awesome young men, to be a blessing.
I have family on the other side that needs some teaching.

Word for the year..

Yup.. play.
We do a lot of this, as it is already, but I wanted to make a more concerted effort, to play this year.
To play in many ways..
Play in the kitchen, try new things.
Play in the craft room, try new techniques, learn some new skills.
Play with the kids, put work down and just play.
Play with Merrill, relax, let go and play when we are together.
Play as a family.
In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it states:
"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
See, play..
We have been doing a lot more playing so far this year. I find it very relaxing to play house with the girls, although I end up being "the babysitter", while they go out on "dates". The plot lines they implement while we play Barbies together, help me to forget about my current worries or stresses. We have also begun playing before bedtime, still reading, but added playing. It has been so much fun to play with Peyton, especially. To see the understanding of new concepts in her eyes is very fulfilling.
I also plan to continue to play with my friends..
On that note, I would love to have a "scrappernoon".. leave me a comment for when works best.. after Peyton's birthday and Valentine's is over of course! :)

I needed this today...

I have said it, just yesterday in fact, but before too... Heavenly Father knows us individually, He knows our needs. He loves us! Whether we pray for what we are in need of or not, He blesses us everyday with what will help us.
Today is no exception.
I hope to post, when all is resolved, what my small struggles are at this particular time in my life, in the life of my family. They are not as great as others struggles and trials, but they are mine.
I am so thankful to great friends who are so attentive to the Spirit. Who do the smallest, most ordinary things, and bless my life, give me encouragement and strength. There are so many of you!!!
Today, I got this from my dear friend, Ally, in my e-mail...
Thanks Ally... I really needed this!

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:


'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.

It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know...I just did.

Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.

We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

some of this n' that...

life lately...
catching up on this:
doing a lot of this:

shopping, both in stores and online...
hunting down the perfect board shorts for Powell! (found 'em!)and a bunch of other stuuuffffff...
enrichment was incredible last night! christie did awesome, as always... and as an added bonus, alison barber spoke too! two of the most incredible mothers i know... i learned a lot and came home feeling re-energized in my calling of "mother".
last night, lynn came into our room... we heard her crying, but we get a lot of that "girl emotion" when they are over-tired. so, she came into our room and starts to tell us why she is so upset. we are expecting some offense or other assult that ashley was the culprit of, but instead, we got: "i----... and then it turned into a language and sound that only the animal kingdom might be able to decipher. we told her to come and snuggle with us and we could talk about what was bothering her. after we got her to calm down so we could sufficiently understand her, it came out...
"i don't want to grow up. i don't want to leave this house. i want to be with my family forever. i don't want to get old and i don't want to die."
she was pretty upset and it took a while to calm her down. we told her that while we are sad to have these things happen, they are good things. growing is good. i also got to bust out one of alison's sayings from the evening, "it is called the plan of happiness... we are supposed to be happy!" she's been okay since... she came up with the solution to not living here when she gets "old" and the problem of not living with her family... she'll just move in here when she gets married, and then she and her husband and all of her kids can live here too!
i must mention (because i am so proud of myself... and merrill's happy too ;)...) i can now fit into 3 new pairs of jeans!!! here i come favorite jeans... here i come...

A good day...

Had a good day today.
Such a blessing to have time spent with friends, remembering, talking, learning from each other, gaining understanding.
A few of us got together to work on a scrapbook of Scout Camp to give to the family. It was so fun to see what these guys got to experience together. What a neat kid! Good idea Christie!
We discussed the Plan of Salvation a lot, and so much peace comes with that. It led me to even more questions, which I talked about with mom and dad. I am so thankful to have parents that have the wisdom I need.
Grandma is continuing to do poorly. Her doc cut her dose of painkiller in half, hoping that that might give her more clarity, so she won't be so sleepy and loopy. Not so. She can't think straight, still. She couldn't remember what her leg was called. Trying to get out the word took her a while. She finally got out the word "defibrillator"... how do you get that and leg crossed, I don't know. Grandpa is getting more confused too. Maybe it's just the stress. He called mom and she answered her phone. He kept yelling, "Hello! Hello!" When mom got him to say more than "hello", she asked him what he needed, he said, "What do I need? You're the one who called me!"
I got to see them today. Mom watched the girls while I had my six week check-up, which went well... So I was there when they came to dinner. Grandma looks really... I don't know how to say it... old, lifeless, skinny, there's not much left. Grandpa tries to help her along. It's sweet to see how good he is to her when he can barely get around himself. They love seeing any of their great-grandkids... They are both happy to see them, but I think Grandpa especially. Ash is his buddy but he loves Peyton so much. He just holds her hand and talks to her. I want her to know him. But time goes on...
While this is hard, I am so thankful that at least we know it's coming, we have time. I am thankful for the time.