a sweet reunion.

my grandpa passed away friday.

we were waiting, excited for him, but can’t help but be selfish, for us.

I miss him already!

so he’s on my mind.

a lot.

I am thankful to KNOW that he is with my grandma, they are so happy to be together again!!

(it has been five years since she passed.)

these two pictures sat on the table, right next to the chair where he sat and spent the majority of his time.  she was never far from him.

his is no longer hindered by an imperfect body and the pain that comes with old age.

I really am happy for him..  really.

it’s just hard to be without him now.

so here comes the flood.  I don’t expect it to let up any time soon…

(click on layouts for links to products used.)

oh, and then there’s the fact that lynn is growing, or thinks she is..  such a great time of life!!

I really did have plans today...

Yesterday, after I posted, I found out that s.i.l., Kaitlyn made Lakette! Congratulations Katie!!!!
Next week, Mikell tries out for Cheerleader... Good Luck Kitty-Cat!!!
So today... I really did have plans, but sometimes things just don't go as planned. I had errands to run, a baptism to get ready for, a sharing time to prepare, and an meeting to gather information for, the meeting is tomorrow... and now I just realized that I forgot to call Jen...
So, I got a shower, to everyone else's pleasure so I wouldn't smell :)... I got to the baptism. I got some laundry done. Only one errand run. Checked on a friend's cats (they are great by the way...). My sharing time is in my head, I have to make sure that I have everything ready for it. The info... I'll do that too.
Lynn almost fell off the bed today. Fell off with excitement, that is.
Every day we have to do the daily run-down, the events that are to take place that day. I told the girls that dad was going to take them down to the store to play while I went to the baptism. Pey got to hang out with me... Lynn complained that that would be "weeks away", what would they do until then?
Me- "I thought you guys could get ready and go play outside, you know, in your playhouse, jump on the trampoline..."
Lynn- "But there is snow on the ground out there. We can't play."
Me- "The snow is all gone."
Lynn- An excited look on her face which quickly vanishes, "Then it will be too cold."
Me- "Nope... It's supposed to be really warm today. If you want a jacket..."
Lynn- Excited look reappears, she almost falls backwards off the bed, until she catches the covers.
Let's just say she was excited.
I made them so me little lunches in lunch sacks to have a picnic outside. It was a good day.
Ash is still so concerned about Grandma. She thinks that some one will take her. We are going to go and check on her tomorrow, and Grandpa too.
Mom asked me what sentimental thing I would like to have of Grandma's... all I could think of was a crochet hook, after all, that is how I learned! She said there were plenty of those and some knitting needles. I will gladly take a pair of those too. She asked if there was anything else that I could think of. Right off the top of my head, nothing. Except for the bread box... but that is really Grandpa's too. I told her. She said that it just sits in the sewing room, Grandpa wouldn't mind if I had it. I am so excited! That's where they used to keep candy for us grand kids, instead of bread. One of those memories...
Now I get to go and get all of that stuff ready... I am not looking forward to tomorrow... My first Sunday doing sharing time since I've had Peyton. I also have a correlation meeting, need to come home and feed the fam, finish getting them ready, get to church early, set-up sharing time, and make sure, somehow, that Peyton will be settled until I have a break when I can actually nurse her... and Christie is gone. I shouldn't feel this way about Sunday, stress is no good. The only positive so far, is that it is Fast Sunday... well, and Lake Powell is on for September!!! WooHoo!

Here's the "DL"...

What a weekend!!! Had the funeral on Saturday... The primary kids did so well, although I have never heard "I am a Child of God", sound so sad. Randy did a great job! It was amazing how he got through that feat. All-in-all it was a very emotional day. It definitely gets you thinking about priorities. I was already having a hard time, then, when I went to leave the church, I could hear the bagpipes playing for him up on the hill... they always get me. Maybe it's the Scot in me... There have been so many blessings because of the events that took place one week ago.
I have decided that I want to be a scriptorian ( when I finally grow up...). My mom is so knowledgeable in the scriptures. I could call her anytime this last week with any question, and she knew the answer. I want to be just like her. I bought a little notebook, Peyton Green of course, and that will be my special place to write down what I learn. I want to be able to help my kids one day too. I should school myself better.
Yesterday was such a beautiful day. All went well getting ready for church. Got there a little early too!!! Ash went to her class and stayed there!!! Lynn read the scripture, no problem. It did help that I bribed them both with gum.
The blessing was awesome. Merrill always does such a good job. I prayed the night before and even that morning to have my mind calmed, to have questions that I have had about Peyton answered. Those prayers... He always answers them!
I missed Grandpa & Grandma Wallace. Grandma keeps getting worse, and when she is better, it is never as good as the time before she got bad. Grandpa didn't want to leave her side. I did make coconut cupcakes just for him... I sent some home with mom. I heard he was so happy to get them. I love my Grandpa!
Sophie lost a tooth last night. Lynn was a little freaked out. She now doesn't want to lose any teeth... Today, I spent the day doing laundry, making some headbands, with Brooke's help in cutting and turning pieces, sorry for the raw fingers! I don't have Lynn and Ashley's finished, and I still have buttons to sew on them, but here's Peyton's... Brooke also took some good pics of Pey in her blessing dress. I tried last night, she would do nothing but cry. I did get her all posed and cute, then Ash had to jump at her, get in her face (or "bace" as Ash would say it,) and scare her... that darn kid (Ashley, that is...)!

A good day...

Had a good day today.
Such a blessing to have time spent with friends, remembering, talking, learning from each other, gaining understanding.
A few of us got together to work on a scrapbook of Scout Camp to give to the family. It was so fun to see what these guys got to experience together. What a neat kid! Good idea Christie!
We discussed the Plan of Salvation a lot, and so much peace comes with that. It led me to even more questions, which I talked about with mom and dad. I am so thankful to have parents that have the wisdom I need.
Grandma is continuing to do poorly. Her doc cut her dose of painkiller in half, hoping that that might give her more clarity, so she won't be so sleepy and loopy. Not so. She can't think straight, still. She couldn't remember what her leg was called. Trying to get out the word took her a while. She finally got out the word "defibrillator"... how do you get that and leg crossed, I don't know. Grandpa is getting more confused too. Maybe it's just the stress. He called mom and she answered her phone. He kept yelling, "Hello! Hello!" When mom got him to say more than "hello", she asked him what he needed, he said, "What do I need? You're the one who called me!"
I got to see them today. Mom watched the girls while I had my six week check-up, which went well... So I was there when they came to dinner. Grandma looks really... I don't know how to say it... old, lifeless, skinny, there's not much left. Grandpa tries to help her along. It's sweet to see how good he is to her when he can barely get around himself. They love seeing any of their great-grandkids... They are both happy to see them, but I think Grandpa especially. Ash is his buddy but he loves Peyton so much. He just holds her hand and talks to her. I want her to know him. But time goes on...
While this is hard, I am so thankful that at least we know it's coming, we have time. I am thankful for the time.

Not a pity party..

Okay, so this is one of those posts where I am pretending that this is my journal, not like I am talking to my friends... but I really am... so I am just writing in my "journal" now, no need for pity...
Talked to mom yesterday. She caught me up on the whole Grandma situation. Grandma has been gradually going downhill for a while now, it just seems to be getting worse. Not eating, wandering in the night, confusion, not remembering things, mumbling incoherently, sleep-like state most of the time, losing a lot of weight...
So Monday, mom went up to clean their house. She had to get grandma up and get her breakfast. She asked her what she wanted to eat and grandma told her one of her breakfast cookies. So mom asked her how to heat it up. That's when grandma told her to cut open the top of the package, and microwave it on high, for two minutes. The microwave promptly began smoking, hence, mom almost started a house fire. Grandpa said that grandma had done it a couple of days before, she can't remember even repetitious daily things. So grandma starts to eat something else for breakfast, something not burned... and starts mumbling. Mom can't understand what she is talking about. She does pick up, "Okay, I'll get out of bed now and go and eat my bread and butter..." Later, after mom took dad to the eye doctor (everything is fine there...) and after Peg has come to see what mom is panicking about, grandma doesn't remember any of it. At dinner, mom has to feed grandma, she can't pick up her fork. She won't even answer questions. She seems to be asleep. She doesn't eat very much and tells mom she is full. Mom didn't argue and let her have dessert, that 's all she is interested in eating. Grandpa is really worried. He doesn't think he'll be able to get her into the house, he lost his leg in WWII... so mom goes home with them, gets them all settled and goes home to gather things to go and stay the night. Grandma has fallen so many times in the night, and grandpa can't help her up. A couple of weeks ago, she got up and fell, he tried to help her up and he ended-up falling too. Mom and dad had to go up and help. This has happened a lot, that mom and dad go and help her get up. So mom goes back to their house, starts getting ready for bed and she can hear grandpa saying their nighttime prayer.
"We are so thankful that we have been able to be together for so many years, to be able to be in our home together. Please bless us that we can be together for just a little longer. Help Maxine that she won't be so confused when she wakes up. Help her to not wander in the night. Bless me that I won't be lame, so I can help her. Protect us from those who would harm us, from thieves..." I am just crying thinking of my sweet grandpa pouring out his heart to Heavenly Father, begging for more time. Even if death isn't close, he doesn't want to be separated, her in a nursing home, him not there... The next day mom makes some phone calls. She had some questions for the man who is over the set-up of the trust account. He tells her to get the funerals planned an paid for, that way, Medicaid cannot get to that money if she does end-up in a nursing home, again. So mom and Peg go and get the funerals all planned and paid for. Mom has also been reading a lot about death, the process of it. She says it's like reading about grandma. The body puts aside physical needs to prepare itself spiritually for what is to come, that explains a lot.
So they got her a spot in an assisted living place. The level of care seems to be not as high as grandma needs. Mom and grandpa don't feel good about it, so they cancel it. They started looking into other options. The next day, they found out that grandpa's VA benefits will help pay if he is there too. So they have their name in at a place, where they can have a suite, together...
So Lynn and I had a talk about what Easter is really about. She understands the Resurrection she gets that. So I felt it was only fair to warn her about what is to come with grandma. I really feel like it will be soon, and I want her to be prepared. So I told her that grandma isn't doing to well. Asked her what will happen if grandma doesn't eat at all, etc. She knows. I ask her what grandma will be like after she has died, "Her body will be all better, she won't hurt, and she'll remember things and not be so tired." So I tell her this will be sad for us because we will miss her, but it is a good thing, she won't have these problems any more. Grandpa will be lonely, but he'll be happy because she will be better. Lynn says that we'll have to go and visit him a lot so he won't be so lonely. Then, she adds, "But what about all the other grandpas?" She is so sweet.
I am so happy that my girls have gotten to know my grandparents, I am sad that Peyton won't know her in this life, but am so thankful for Heavenly Father's plan. I know that it's not the end, she'll know her.

Great Grandpa & Great Grandma

We had an eventful day yesterday. I was trying to be wise last night and put blogging to the side and get some much needed sleep. On pre-school days, I feel totally tapped! Lynn had fun dressing-up as a mom, yes, I forgot to snap a pic... she did get a treat for filling in her reading chart. It was mostly B.O.M minutes. After getting her from pre-school, we went to see Grandpa and Grandma Wallace. They haven't seen Peyton outside of a picture. I thought it might help Grandma, she hasn't been doing too well. We got there around noon, and mom had just managed to get her out of bed, she was eating her breakfast, and scaring the girls. She thinks that the girls should want to kiss and hug her immediately... she was looking pretty scary, that's why her pic isn't posted... ahhh!!
Grandpa was so cute with Peyton! I have felt like this is really important, that they see her... the blessing might be just a couple of weeks away, but that might be too far.
I love Grandpa! Even though he knows the girls look just like Mer, he tells me what beautiful girls we have. He looks for me in them!