a sweet reunion.

my grandpa passed away friday.

we were waiting, excited for him, but can’t help but be selfish, for us.

I miss him already!

so he’s on my mind.

a lot.

I am thankful to KNOW that he is with my grandma, they are so happy to be together again!!

(it has been five years since she passed.)

these two pictures sat on the table, right next to the chair where he sat and spent the majority of his time.  she was never far from him.

his is no longer hindered by an imperfect body and the pain that comes with old age.

I really am happy for him..  really.

it’s just hard to be without him now.

so here comes the flood.  I don’t expect it to let up any time soon…

(click on layouts for links to products used.)

oh, and then there’s the fact that lynn is growing, or thinks she is..  such a great time of life!!

hoppy easter

cheesy.

I know.

but it absolutely fits this here post.

easter happens in parts here.

as tradition goes, we have our hunt for treats the day before easter, trying to keep the focus of what easter is all about, entirely for the sabbath.

but there are two other hunts at grandmas’ houses, so there are 3 hunts for these kiddos.

I try to cut out on the candy, try being the operative word, and give more toy type stuff.  I also try to make as much of it as I can.

I usually make pajamas, but got a steal of a deal from disney online on some darling princess nightgowns.  so, I can save all of my pajama making energy for some later date..  and well, let’s be honest, ever since the 4 year old bed buddy has started the trend of hijacking my bed again, my neck is jacked.  no sewing can really happen with a jacked neck.

but crocheting can!

it’s perfect.  I have my yarn, my tools, my pattern, and my heating pad, on my neck, and I go to town!

I get e-mails from lion, and got one for cute, last minute easter ideas with this darling bunny as one of them.  it was easy!!

of course I made them in each of the girls colors, because that is how we all stay sane around here, and I think they were on to me.

I can’t decide which I love most…

their cute faces:

their sweet little pom-pom tails:

or the apparent fact the the girls love them:

(peyton has already named hers baxter.  quite appropriate if you ask me.)

as I was finishing them up, a whole other reason to love them came to mind.

my grandma taught me how to crochet.

she passed away 4 years ago.

I love her so much.

I miss her.

but I am so thankful for this easter season, the constant reminder that I will be with her again someday, and incredibly thankful for the life she lived, for the many things she taught me.

happy easter.

Treasures..

The other day, as I was talking to mom on the phone (we do that a lot..) she mentioned that she had something for me.
This isn't unusual. Sometimes it's a favorite treat of mine she spied (she's especially good at finding chocolate covered marshmallow anything... mmmmm..) or even inspiring talks and quotes.
She's super sweet.. I love her! She's my mommer..
So after her crazy hectic day yesterday (watching the majority of her grandchildren for the hotel open house, an ALL day event..) she brought it up again as I was getting the kiddos..
"I have that something for you."She handed me an afghan, and a paper that looked an awful lot like a Patriarchal Blessing all typed up nice and neatly.
She tearfully explained, "This is the last afghan grandma was working on.." I begin to cry.. "I finished it for you to keep."
WOW!! This is going in the cedar chest..
"And I thought you might like to have a copy of her Patriarchal Blessing."
More crying..
Now, for those who might not know or understand what Patriarchal blessing is, it is not a fortune, there are no crystal balls involved, no card readings done, it is simply a blessing, filled with guidance and direction, blessings promised if we do our part, if we are faithful.
Grandma got hers later in her life, when her younger brother was called and ordained a Patriarch. It was so interesting to read, as most people get them when they are younger, and it talks about the life ahead of them.
Hers focused on all that she had done, and what she was to do with the time left.
It was also a blessing, as it has given me some help with my RS lesson for June..
I love these treasures.. awesome blessings!!

The Best of...

It was such a good day yesterday!! Beautiful, in many ways...
Here's the best of hundreds of pics snapped..
Does anyone know if I can photoshop dried boogers OFF a toddler's face? :)
We stopped at the cemetery.. realizing this is our first Easter without Grandma.
What a blessing it is to know that, like our Savior, we will ALL be resurrected, we will live AGAIN!
Our Heavenly Father loves us...
Hope you all had a great Easter!!

Missing you...

I love you Grandma!!!

Happy Divine Nature Day!!! a.k.a. Mother's Day...

So I am going to start a petition to call this day, "Divine Nature Day". I know that there are so many women, my mom, sisters-in-law (Promise, Jaclyn, Brookers, Randee, Kaitlyn, Mikell Meow!...), aunts, grandmas, and friends, some who are mothers, and others who have not been given that opportunity, who have influenced my life, and helped me to become the person that I am today. I want to celebrate all of womanhood, not necessarily "mothers"... there are so many awesome women out there that do good...
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

When I went to gather dirty clothes the other day, I saw that Lynn had a bright pink bag hidden in her closet next to the hamper. I was so excited, who else would it be for? She made me a gift and a card at pre-school.
She was so excited! And I love it... of course!
We've had a busy couple of days around here...
We celebrated Mother's Day with our Grandmas yesterday, and a little more today.
We had way too much fun at Mer's parents house last night. We didn't get home until nearly 10 pm. I got a way fun Mother's day gift from Darlene... Will come in use for Lake Powell...
Brooke made us darling headbands to match!
And because we love to be goofy... a picture shoot followed...
We went to church with mom and dad. She hosted a lunch, that was an awesome gift! Not cooking lunch for the fam... well, I kinda still did.
My older brother was asked to speak in his ward today about mothers. He spoke about mothers who have influenced his life, and I was flattered to hear that I was one of those three that he spoke about. I guess maybe I am doing some things that are right!
I am raising drama queens, not by example I must state... Ash dropped a chocolate flower that was on top of a frosted cupcake on her dress today. She had the dramatic "hands-to-the-face" cry going on. She had the dramatic, "I can-hardly-talk-because-I am-sobbing" cry going on a the same time...
"Mm... mmm... my... my... Bbbb... bbb... beautibul.... my beautibul dress! My beautibul dress is ruined!!!!"
And we got to talk to Clint today!!!
Can't wait to see you!!!
Grandma's headstone is in, Yeah!!! So we had a bonus when we stopped by to visit her too...

cutie pie...

This kid is getting cuter by the day! I am tempted to post a "Peyton Pic of the Day". Don't tell me I am wrong about her cuteness...
I have been in a "I miss my Grandma" funk the last couple of days. I have been getting my hands on things that were hers, that she made for me, pictures of her, etc. I can't explain it. The littlest things that I do in my life, I have her to thank. I enjoy reading, she taught that to her kids, my mom taught it to me because of her. She was the one who got us into scrapbooking. When I scrap now, I think of her. Same with pretty much everything else I enjoy doing, other skills I was taught. Being a mother...
Mom called today, Grandma Mayes is doing poorly. She's in the hospital with heart problems. She has already had a pace maker put in. It must be really bad for my aunts to call. Grandma has been in the hospital so many other times, and the only way dad has found out, is because Grandma tells him after the fact. The girls have never met her, and they want to. There isn't a day that they don't bring it up. Whenever they see a plane, they ask when we'll get to go see Grandma Pat. Now I am not sure that they ever will. Strange, I love her because she is my Grandma, but it feels more like she is this friend of my dad's. It has been ten years since I have seen her last. And I went eight years before seeing her then. I still see her in my mind as being young, I know she is older than I think.
She has knee and hip issues, diabetes, and this heart problem. Her doctor has told her she needs to lose weight to help all of the other problems. She is afraid to go by herself, she is afraid she'll fall. So he told her to use her walker. Ummm, no. She found a neighbor buddy to go walking with, but it turned-out that when her walking buddy would come to get her, they would end up watching TV and eating ice cream together... my Grandma is a hoot!
It has been a bummer of a weekend.
As I have said before, it is spring. Merrill is soooo busy, while it is a good thing on one hand, it is a total pain in the butt on the other. He didn't get home from work until nearly eight last night. He left this morning at seven, and didn't come home 'till almost six. Being a single parent sucks sometimes.
And don't even get me started on our health insurance premium increase... I know that we are so blessed to have it, but paying for it... especially when it goes up. I am trying to resolve that, but we'll have to see what happens...
FAITH!!!

happy birthday brookers!!!

we had a fun lunch here today! just us girls! love you guys....
so i know that i haven't posted... i almost forgot how!
i've been busy with so much, but not much to show for it...
here's one project...

the girl loves her nighttime baths! she talks to me sooo much and she is still on the verge of a giggle... trying to find what will get it to come out...

here's my pincushion... i changed the fabric... the paisley was much cuter than the polka dot. i finished the grocery sack holder today. show that one later!

these are things from grandma...

knitting needles, crochet hooks, an old canning jar, her quilting kit complete with band aids, her thimbles, and needles :), the little pillow is made from my great-great grandma's wedding dress, and i got one of her watches... all priceless!
i had a leadership meeting tonight that was really nice. hope to squeeze in an early morning run tomorrow, i am trying to be good ;) mer has been so busy... but i am not complaining... it is a blessing to have business!

a celebration

grandma with all my girls...
the last couple of days have been difficult, but happy too. and yesterday was grandma's viewing. i got to see a lot of people and relatives that i haven't seen for a while. it was amazing to have all of mom's brothers and sisters there. not all cousins... joan and lerry, who have been feuding for years, were actually in the same room! i don't know if they even spoke. it's so sad that people can't put the past, past offenses there, in the past... brodie put together a dvd of all our pics of grandma, i can't wait to get a copy! it was so nice. the funeral was so good. all of the great-grandkids sang, "i am a child of God". i had to go up there with ash, she was nervous. brandy read a poem that she wrote about our childhood with grandma. a flood of memories came rushing at me. "the blue" room that we were sure was haunted. we did not want to sleep in there! grandma and her "tab" drinking habit... rick spoke of his memories. he also spoke of how important it is to grandma that all of her posterity have testimonies, and have the blessings of the temple. he got quite emotional as he told us that it is our responsibility to get one another "home". that was grandma's legacy to us. she did so much family history work. she did just as much temple work. mom spoke too. i love her! she isn't afraid to get into her scriptures even though there were others there who probably didn't want to hear what they used to know and understand. that was the sad part about today, how many were grieving... they have forgotten what they have been taught. that's why i am so thankful for these opportunities to teach the girls, to bear my testimony to them. the past couple of weeks and just having had conference weekend has been awesome. i am thankful to be a mother and to have the knowledge to teach my kids. dad gave the dedicatory prayer at the graveside... and to think that when mom dear-johned her missionary to marry dad, grandma told her dad was going to take her "to hell in a hand basket"... and here he is. a worthy member of the church, blessing her grave with the power of the priesthood! we got to sit with grandpa at the luncheon afterward. ash was so cute winking at him and giving him her thumbs up. we'll have to make it a more regular thing to visit him. i fell sad thinking of him all alone in that house. loneliness... bryson's wife sang, "oh my father", everything she sings is beautiful! she and bry sang, "let me call you sweetheart", friday before grandma passed. mom veiled grandma before they closed the casket. she said that she felt so blessed, she didn't understand why, out of the seven kids, four of which daughters, the funeral director handed it to her and asked her if she would like to do it. what a bittersweet moment. it was harder watching grandpa say goodbye... the girls wanted to go see her grave before we made the drive home, so we stopped. i had explained to them at the graveside earlier, about the vault and how they would lower her casket into the ground, so ash must have forgotten... when we got there, grandma's casket was gone, they had buried her, but ash thought some one took her! she was so worried. i had to re-explain... then she wanted me to lift up the sod so ash could see her, what a little literal mind she has! when all is said and done, the girls and i each got a flower from her spray that i will press, mom got her engagement ring, i will get a pair of earrings, and that book i have... it was hers from when she was young, still "Maxine Gunnell", her name in her own hand, the book printed in 1933... i didn't realize it was that old... and memories... what a celebration of her life!

Love you Grandma!!!

Grandma passed-away peacefully last night around quarter of twelve.
I'm so glad we were there with her yesterday!
Conference will be such a great comfort today...

Grandma...

Grandma...
She hasn't been doing well all week, I just found out yesterday. Mom has been so busy taking care of her and Grandpa, the emotion too, has taken a toll, I hadn't been able to talk to her. While I was un-loading the dishwasher yesterday, I got the prompting to call mom. Since I have been trying to be more vigilant in obeying these promptings, I did it. She was at Grandpa & Grandma's. She was emotional, I could tell, and she told me that she wanted to talk to me so bad, that there had been so much going on.
She said she had something to tell me.
She had just changed Grandma.
That was the shocker.
Grandma is doing poorly enough to need diapers. Hospice came in to asses her, she has a bladder infection and infection in her lungs. They are helping the bladder infection, not the pneumonia. They categorize that as "failure to thrive". So I knew there wasn't much time.
I got the call this morning that the Hospice nurse came, said to call all family, her time is drawing near.
We got out there as fast as we could. She seems so much different than just a week ago. She looks different. Her breathing is labored. She opened her eyes to see the girls, but could not speak. She squeezed my hand.
She'll be gone soon.
I am thankful.
I am thankful that it should go fast.
I am thankful that it will be the end of pain for her, for Grandpa, for Mom too.
I am thankful for all of my memories of her, with her.
I am thankful for all that she has taught me.
I am thankful that I have had time to prepare me, and my girls.
I am thankful that I have been able to teach my girls about Heavenly Father's Plan.
I am thankful that we had time with her.
I am thankful that I could say, "goodbye"... well, more like, "see ya later!" and to tell her I love her.
I am thankful to know that it is not the end.
I felt peace there, sadness that she'll be gone, sadness for my Grandpa, but peace. There was such a good spirit. I felt sad for my cousins who have stepped away from the Gospel, they were in mourning. They have forgotten what they have been taught. Maybe this will be good for them.
I am thankful for my testimony.
Grandpa seemed so sad. He isn't grasping the reality. He still prays that she'll get feeling better. As we were leaving, he asked, "You're going already?" (we had been there for a couple of hours, the girls needed to eat...) I promised him that we would be back, a lot. He said, "You'd better." Ashley can always make him smile, he loves holding Peyton.
Things I get to have and my girls get to have, because of what Grandma taught me:
- How to quilt.
- How to cross-stitch.
- How to crochet.
- Knitting.
- MANY fun games, the "gum" game. Every kid loves this.
- Scrapbooking.
- Monkey Bread.
- How to sew.
- How to make my pie crusts pretty.
I have so many memories... Sleep-overs with my cousins Brandy and Bonnie. Grandma scaring us half-to-death when we were up giggling and telling ghost stories. Her "Pepto Bismol pink" lipstick kisses. Going to see movies at the Cinedome when she worked there. Treats in the breadbox. Top Ramen, and the monster in the bottom of my cup (it was my reflection). Grossing her out with the noodles, we pretended they were boogers, long boogers. Quilting with her. Binding my first quilt with her while my brothers shoveled snow off of their roof. I have a vest she knitted me. I have all of my "Strawberry Shortcake and friends" dolls that she crocheted me. Her story told every year around the Thanksgiving table. Christmas Day at her house. Her home made Christmas gifts for us. Lunches at "The Tiffin Room". Climbing trees in their back yard. Every time she held my girls for the first time...
I talked to mom a little while ago, just before I sat down to put my memories here... my mom and her brothers and sisters, are singing to her. If she likes it, she squeezes a hand. Her breathing is labored now.
I love you Grandma.

Momnesia... Sorry Nat!

I feel like such a dork.
My brain is still not functioning, functioning better, but not fully functioning.
I agreed to help my dear friend with a skit for Relief Society. I thought that it was TOMORROW. TONIGHT, we had a birthday party for my nephew, which my sis-in-law changed from TOMORROW to TODAY, because me and my other sis-in-law had RS TOMORROW...
Got home from the party tonight to have a message on my answering machine...
Um.. it was really TONIGHT... I am so sorry Nat! I am a dork! I even had it on my calendar for TOMORROW. What was I thinking???
Grandma isn't doing too well. I haven't heard all of the details, mom has been kinda busy, too busy to call and chat. Apparently, she has been searching out a nursing home and planning a funeral. Everything that has been going on is end-of-life stuff. That's just what Brooke told me on the phone yesterday during our 4 hour 10 minute and 56 second phone conversation. So glad she knows what I am going through. Christie had an interesting point of view on the length of that conversation... that's a part time job!!!
I got tagged by Dani, a "Favorite Things" tag... I'll have to sleep on it. Right now my favorite things aren't too exciting: Mylicon drops, my pillow, Lynn will be going to Kindergarten (she has given me one of "those days"...), and of course, floats...