She hasn't been doing well all week, I just found out yesterday. Mom has been so busy taking care of her and Grandpa, the emotion too, has taken a toll, I hadn't been able to talk to her. While I was un-loading the dishwasher yesterday, I got the prompting to call mom. Since I have been trying to be more vigilant in obeying these promptings, I did it. She was at Grandpa & Grandma's. She was emotional, I could tell, and she told me that she wanted to talk to me so bad, that there had been so much going on.
She said she had something to tell me.
She had just changed Grandma.
That was the shocker.
Grandma is doing poorly enough to need diapers. Hospice came in to asses her, she has a bladder infection and infection in her lungs. They are helping the bladder infection, not the pneumonia. They categorize that as "failure to thrive". So I knew there wasn't much time.
I got the call this morning that the Hospice nurse came, said to call all family, her time is drawing near.
We got out there as fast as we could. She seems so much different than just a week ago. She looks different. Her breathing is labored. She opened her eyes to see the girls, but could not speak. She squeezed my hand.
She'll be gone soon.
I am thankful.
I am thankful that it should go fast.
I am thankful that it will be the end of pain for her, for Grandpa, for Mom too.
I am thankful for all of my memories of her, with her.
I am thankful for all that she has taught me.
I am thankful that I have had time to prepare me, and my girls.
I am thankful that I have been able to teach my girls about Heavenly Father's Plan.
I am thankful that we had time with her.
I am thankful that I could say, "goodbye"... well, more like, "see ya later!" and to tell her I love her.
I am thankful to know that it is not the end.
I felt peace there, sadness that she'll be gone, sadness for my Grandpa, but peace. There was such a good spirit. I felt sad for my cousins who have stepped away from the Gospel, they were in mourning. They have forgotten what they have been taught. Maybe this will be good for them.
I am thankful for my testimony.
Grandpa seemed so sad. He isn't grasping the reality. He still prays that she'll get feeling better. As we were leaving, he asked, "You're going already?" (we had been there for a couple of hours, the girls needed to eat...) I promised him that we would be back, a lot. He said, "You'd better." Ashley can always make him smile, he loves holding Peyton.
Things I get to have and my girls get to have, because of what Grandma taught me:
- How to quilt.
- How to cross-stitch.
- How to crochet.
- MANY fun games, the "gum" game. Every kid loves this.
- Monkey Bread.
- How to sew.
- How to make my pie crusts pretty.
I have so many memories... Sleep-overs with my cousins Brandy and Bonnie. Grandma scaring us half-to-death when we were up giggling and telling ghost stories. Her "Pepto Bismol pink" lipstick kisses. Going to see movies at the Cinedome when she worked there. Treats in the breadbox. Top Ramen, and the monster in the bottom of my cup (it was my reflection). Grossing her out with the noodles, we pretended they were boogers, long boogers. Quilting with her. Binding my first quilt with her while my brothers shoveled snow off of their roof. I have a vest she knitted me. I have all of my "Strawberry Shortcake and friends" dolls that she crocheted me. Her story told every year around the Thanksgiving table. Christmas Day at her house. Her home made Christmas gifts for us. Lunches at "The Tiffin Room". Climbing trees in their back yard. Every time she held my girls for the first time...
I talked to mom a little while ago, just before I sat down to put my memories here... my mom and her brothers and sisters, are singing to her. If she likes it, she squeezes a hand. Her breathing is labored now.
I love you Grandma.