The right things at just the right time.

 

(Thank you Ally.)

 

“You are exactly where you are supposed to be. If you are happy, revel in it. Appreciate the moment.

If you are unhappy; take note. Try to figure out what you are supposed to be learning in this moment.

For each and every moment woven together over time is your life. Each moment matters. Each moment has something beautiful to teach us.”

Perfect, right?  I believe that this can apply to all of us. 

I truly believe that there is no ceiling to our own personal best, I believe that we can go higher, and once we think we’ve hit our best, we go beyond that even. 

We learn during the whole process.

Good or bad.

I like to look back on these last few months, four of them to be exact, as I have been learning a lot, like so much, I thought my head was going to explode.  Now that the fog has lifted, and I see the whole experience with so much more clarity, I can see just what there was to be learned, and what I learned about myself.

Almost as important, I have learned who I can count on and trust, who has helped me learn and grow.

I am thankful to know who I am.  I am thankful to be comfortable and confident again in my own skin.  Most importantly, I have learned that I am just who I am for a reason, and I should never try to change that to please others, I should never abandon myself, who I am or what I believe to try to make a few happy.

Looking back on that time, how I viewed it while walking through it, it was dark and mostly lonely,  from where I sit right now, the future looks bright and beautiful!

So not lonely.

This girl…

She has been so excited to turn eight, and she is learning that there are even more perks to being eight.
Sunday, one of her activity day leaders came and asked if they could come to our home and meet with us, introduce her to the leaders and the program.  The appointed date and time was set, and all I heard for the next two days was, “When will it be Tuesday at 4?”
She was very excited.  I don’t think she stopped smiling while they talked with her.
They told her about her first activity (which was today) and the excitement grew.  That was all she talked about last night at dinner.
After dinner, all she wanted to do was finish her homework so she cold work on her bag and practice her Articles of Faith.  She couldn’t go to sleep without the bag being finished.  But she went to bed easily, because she wanted today to get here so she could go to the activity.
It was all she talked about this morning too.  She blessed the breakfast, and every single sentence before she finally blessed the food at the very end of her prayer, had to do with “Activity Days”.
She came home, running in the door, too excited to make her way to the activity with her friends.
After I picked her up, that was all I heard about.
Eight certainly has it’s perks! 

Binky Ban..

We were dry (pacifier dry) in this house for all of one (1) day.
The mutilated binky was lost, right before bedtime (wouldn’t you know it..) and we hunted, we really did.  But being the foolish woman that I am, thought that the “cold turkey” method would be the best way to go.  Cut those apron strings, you know?  That event was followed by one really crappy night’s sleep (if I can even consider it sleep) and a naptime involving the re-birth of finger-sucking, to get one of these puppies out of hiding.

That’s right..
I hid them in my underwear drawer.
And those nylons, underneath, have been sitting in that package, in that spot since I bought them about 4 years ago.
I hate nylons.  (And that would be random fact #476 about me..)
I thought this was the safest place in the house for one to go about hiding the most loved item by one particular resident of this house..  that is until the 5 year old obsessed with all things chestly had to go looking.
“Look Pey!!!  Binkies!”
She was so proud of her discovery.
I gave her a look that isn’t good for a mother to give her child, and that prevented her from taking one out to further prove her discovery, so Peyton probably still assumes that Ashley was teasing her, as usual.  Why would anyone hide binkies in a drawer that also houses those other things anyway?
It isn’t that we don’t want her to have it, we just love hearing her sweet voice and all the new words she picks up daily, and we also rather enjoy her smile.  The plastic and silicone get in the way too much.
And don’t get me started on taking pictures with that thing around.
All was going well, until she lost THE ONE, the one that I snipped, the one that it was okay for her to have, and I was not wanting to let her in on the truth that the rest were still located on the premise.
So we went dry.  For that one horrendous night.
I considered sticking to my guns, and continuing on the cold turkey route, but then this happened yesterday:

She picked up the habit after 7 months of not doing it like it was second nature.
These were the days BC (before cast)..

She spent most of her down time with these in her face, the other hand busy twirling her hair..  we knew when she was tired this way!
Then that bittersweet day when she broke her arm..
It was a blessing in disguise.
But the comforting mother stepped in and had to screw it all up.
I shoved a binky in her mouth to give her the comfort she desired without being able to get those two beloved fingers up to her mouth.  And those left ones weren’t doing the job..  for once in her life, she gladly accepted a binky.
I should have just left well enough alone.
After discussing the resurgence of  digit devouring with the man who will one day have to spring for all orthodontics to repair the mouth that seems to never forget, we decided it was best to welcome binky back…
But only for bedtime and the occasional naptime, hoping that all other times she will forget her fingers, pining away for the quality time she will get to spend with Nuk.
And trying to still get her to give it up, I mutilated a new one.
Then found the first one, in the laundry basket.
This morning, after we had both woken happily, she greeted me with a pacifier muffled, ”Hi mom!” and all I had to say was, “That binky needs to be put away until nap time..” and she handed it over with a cheerful “Okay!”
But hey, I am looking forward to another great night’s sleep.  Last night was splendid.

Switcheroo.

It was about the time. 
Lynn has had her own room for about 3 and a half years of her 7 year life.  She and Ash have always gotten along, and when Ashley hit a certain age, it made more sense for them to be roomies.  They slept better (when they weren’t giggling), it helped me urge Merrill along to have Peyton with a nursery all set up but sitting empty, and toys didn’t have to travel up and down the hallway.  Messes were contained to one room instead of spread out over two.  It was a really cute room too..  so girly!
But now, there is a difference in age and maturity.
Ashley doesn’t quite respect her sister’s things.  She also has a different personality when it comes to cleanliness and organization.
Lynn is a little bit more like me.
(I am very happy about that.)
So after one of Lynn’s favorite necklaces went missing,  while she was at school, of course, during her sobs, we talked about her getting her own room.
The discussion continued when Merrill got home.  There were some kinks (worries for me) that needed to be figured out.  How I wished we had one of the rooms in the basement finished!!  Not that Ashley and Peyton wouldn’t do well together, but I worried about all of the fun Ashley could/would/will have with Peyton’s diaper wipes and such.  Not to mention the conflict of toys there.  There wouldn’t be room for all of them, and I don’t want a playroom again.  So I thought on it while we ate.
Once I was done, I got to it.  Merrill was more than surprised at my quick decision.  He even suggested that we think on it a little longer. 
My thoughts:  Lynn shouldn’t have to put up with this any longer than she has, and I would just have to get over my weirdness of toys and other details.
As we moved things back and forth through the hallway, Merrill just stood there, hands in pockets in shock.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.
“She used to be this big…  when did she get so big?”  he said holding his hands out like he was holding her newborn body.  “Wait, no, she was this big..”  his hands came together a little more.
All I could do was cry.
“Tell me about it..”  I said in my teary voice.
“Are you crying?”
I nodded.
“Why?”
“I already want another baby so much, then for all of this to be happening..  it makes me want another one that much more.”
Just then, Peyton ran by talking to us, being her silly self, and that just made me cry more. 
“What’s wrong now?”  he asked.
“THAT!  She is not my baby anymore!!”
He didn’t know I felt this strongly about having another baby, which means I must be doing somewhat of a good job, enjoying what I have and not living in the future of “what-ifs”.
I think the change has been good so far. 
We have had to bribe Ashley to sleep in her own room.  She has made it two nights in there by the way..
But it is good in that Ashley and Peyton are closer.  Lynn and Ashley’s relationship is better, and Lynn even invites Ashley to hang out in her new room, they even had a sleep over.  Lynn is the same way to Peyton.  It’s like special big sister one-on-one time.  They tried to have a sleep over in her room last night, but Peyton was just too excited and Lynn was too tired.
She is super organized now, has everything the way she wants it, and I have yet to see her room messy.
I have some projects in the works to make it her own (I told her that the color scheme stays, and I have plans for more decorations..)  so it is slowly becoming her room as opposed to Peyton’s room.
Here’s some pics from our first night:

Great to be 8..

Can we really be this old?  I mean, really?!
Lynn turns 8 this year which means a big event will commence in her little life, her baptism (if she so chooses..  and she is pretty excited about it.).
We got to attend the "Great to be 8" fireside a couple of weeks ago to see what it would be like.
She was on cloud nine!
It only got better as the stake primary gave her a balloon, a special book for that special day, and cake on top of that?  (Merrill and I really liked that cake..) 
Our Family Home Evening lessons this year will focus more on what this means.  They will also include a lot of scripture finding and reading..  she is in Senior primary now...
So really..  are we really here?..  now?..  already?..
She was just my baby!

New skills..

While I am busy, acquiring new skills, so are my kiddos...
Lynn has a wicked attitude.


Really. Don't let her cuteness fool you.. our "quarantine" was extremely hard on our relationship.
I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that she's been waking-up at the butt-crack of dawn, and staying up.. but the past few days I have been ready to sell her to some gypsies.
We are trying to keep up with reading this summer, but she had that darned attitude and claims she has forgotten many of the words she learned in kindergarten.
Hmm.. maybe that also has something to do with the 5 am-ish wake-up call...
She is quite the helper. She played nurse to Ash while she wasn't feeling well.
Ashley is feeling better.


She still has a cough.
That cough doesn't work well with the trampoline.
Do I need to re-state what takes place when Ash coughs too hard for too long?
Cleaning a trampoline is not fun.
I found a new place to use Clorox Anywhere spray.
She has learned to blow a bubble with her bubble gum!
The two oldest have mastered the art of sneaking treats.. their success rate is very high. I usually don't bust them until after the treats are ingested. They haven't discovered that throwing away the evidence would help them out as far as punishments go. :)
Peyton.. dear, sweet Peyton...


She loves to help me while I am trying to practice my new PhotoShop skills, or adds new characters while I post.
She loves to be read to. If I say book, she takes off, running, and comes back, usually with her favorite.
She gives us high-fives and fist "bumps". She tries to say Lynn's name. Pretty much says "Ash".
She even puts herself down for naps!!
I can sit and read to her forever trying to get her down.. she'll politely listen, not go to sleep on me, and then puts herself to sleep when she is ready.
I discovered her new skill one day when it was too quiet and she hadn't come back downstairs. I went to her room, to find her door shut. I opened it and found her, asleep in her bed. Too sweet!
We went and visited our new local, and very high tech library..
WOW.
That place is incredible!
When I was a wee one, the coolest feature of the library had to be the books on tape available to borrow. That or the tiny pencils..
This place is amazing.. we can't wait to go back.

Growing up..

"CHEEEEESE!!"

I got a phone call today..
It was "Select Health" our insurance company who isn't very punctual.
Today's phone call further proved that fact.
The pre-recorded message said: "By now, I am sure that your little one is crawling all over the house.."
Um.. we are waaaaay past that point.
When they asked, "According to your records, is your child up to date on their immunizations?"
I knew my records were significantly more up to date than theirs, and I didn't wasn't to hear how behind they were. The pre-recorded, one-sided conversation came to an end.
But then it got me thinking even more..
We have been on a kick of watching family videos.
My babies aren't babies any more...
It is amazing to see how much Peyton has grown.
She is saying "ba-by" now.. I am trying to convince Merrill that that alone is the best reason to have another baby.. so she can say her newest word, and point to my tummy at the same time.
He's not convinced. ;)

Project mode..

The debate as to the size of our family has come to an end.
At the risk of my dear husband either going bald (he's already gray enough for both of us), working more hours to escape the massive amounts of estrogen being emitted into our home's atmosphere, and in efforts to earn enough money for the future purchasing of feminene hygeine products, training bras, then padded bras (as genetics has proven..), and three weddings with BIG poofy dresses, we are told, not to mention the fatherly worry and stress he endures through the gestational period..
I have folded.
I will wait for the millenium. :)
With the end of this debate came the dismantling of the nursery.
Merrill about died when I announced the coming activity of re-painting the nursery.
He thought it had been striped in the mauve-y tones that matched the crib bedding so perfectly for only a few months. (?!)
It's been almost 2 years.
If I am supposed to be "done" having babies, I can't see the paint everyday, that was meant just for "baby Peyton", who is not a baby anymore. I type this as she throws away garbage from her "after nap snack".. she cleans up after herself. Her favorite thing to do is to help me unload the dishwasher, put away the silverware! She has a favorite book that she brings to us to read to her multiple times throughout the day. (Merrill reminds me to take pics to post and document the cuteness of it all..)
She has been ready for a "big girl" bed for a couple of months now. We tend to put them in one as soon as they manage stairs. Life is much more pleasant that way. The other two have slept so much better once the transition was made.
So, I am painting.
My craft room re-do still has a few little touches left to it, but her room is calling to me.
Friday, I packed away the nursery things.. an afghan that I made while I was pregnant with Lynn watching endless episodes of M*A*S*H while my hands worked.. the quilt that has been on the twin bed for when the older two made their transition.. the musical carousel Jaclyn got me for Christmas the year I had Lynn.. cross-stitches, Noah's Ark EVERYTHING.. sigh..
A couple of months ago, the changing table came down.
I was teary during that task, so I thought I would fare much worse when Friday came.
I didn't do too bad.
Two moments, that's it.
One- taking the crib quilt, that mom and I made when I was pregnant with Lynn, before we even knew she was a she.. packing it away, for the first time in seven years got my eyes foggy.
Two- I think was more out of frustration than anything else. I was dismantling the crib, which has never been taken apart.. Peyton was so excited! She kept running around, giggling, patting my back and hugging me repeatedly, but despite her happiness and excitement, I couldn't get the side rails to release their grip from the brackets for the life of me!
Merrill called at the height of my frustration..
"It won't come apart.. like I am not supposed to be taking this apart.." I said.
"Oh... yes. It is most definitely supposed to come apart. I will help when I get home if it hasn't come apart yet." He reassured.
The emotion helped me get the side rails off. :)
The make-over continues.. the first coat of paint dries.
Can't wait to post pics..
We have quite the busy week ahead of us!
And surprisingly, I am okay with it all..
We are happy, after all.

Flashback Friday...

I am not trying to rub it in..
Really...
But our last day was today, and we are so happy!!!
Yay!! Summer is HERE!!!!!!
Here's Lynn on her first day. She was so excited, didn't want me to even walk her in!
I was scared.. for everything to come.. this is my baby!!Then there was the school year..
And
what
a
year
it
has
been...
That is why we are so head-over-heels in love with summer this year!
She has learned so much.
She has grown.
She has dealt with all the newness and the hard times well.. And she came through without any scars.. at least none that I can see. Now a therapist on the other hand.... ;)
I loved this pic too.. can you tell how excited we are?
I am so proud of her!!
Now I think I will practice some deep breathing techniques.. the thought of first grade just occurred to me! :0

Ahhhh.. Saturday...

I have been waiting for today since last week. This week, my calendar was FULL. Everyday had at least two things going on, not just ten minute deals either... In High School, the football team had this week called "hell week". If you could make it through this week, without quitting, you pretty much made the team. I think I made the team.. it is all done.
So just being able to do whatever I want to do today, and not go anywhere, is heaven.
Our big deal things were:
Birthday Parties (Happy Birthdays Jaclyn, Dad, Joe, & Soph!)
Lagoon (gotta use those passes!)
Little Lakettes (The girls were awesome!)
Back to School Night and Family Fun Fair (Way to go President Jefferies!!!)
...and now we are getting ready for Powell...
So, here's my week in pics...
Sunday, tried out some new and exciting hair... my first ever attempt at a messy bun on Lynn...Back to school night's "Family Fun Fair"... Lynn picked pretty face painting...
We went to the fair after she met her teacher, and after Little Lakette practice. She was so confident and friendly with her teacher, it made me feel so good to see her so grown up and confident. She probably would have chatted away if I'd let her! While Ash picked scary... they had a blast!Little Lakettes... what can I say? Ash wasn't so much into it, well, when I was there to observe anyway. She would go and attempt to dance but then come back to me like the world was falling on top of her... I implemented bribery. Worked like a charm... they were both so cute, and Lynn was awesome. She makes my eyes sting, how grown up she is!
After...
With their rewards...
Made a bunch of lollipops... it all started when Lynn asked, "Mom, how do they make suckers?" and I showed her! Peyton loves them..

Speaking of Growing Up..

I think I mentioned that Peyton's clothes are getting too small...
Her snaps burst open spontaneously because... well, she's too big...
I know that she turns 6 months old Wednesday, and it is time...
But it was kinda hard today, getting out that next stage of clothes, and putting away the 3-6 month stuff.
She enjoyed playing in the storage container so much!
I got excited seeing the old outfits that Lynn and Ash have both worn... seeing the new stuff that I bought or were gifts...
It's just happening too fast!

Gratitude without deeds is shallow...

Today was a good day at church, well, besides clingy Ashley. Jen wasn't there... she seems to be one that Ashley really feels comfortable around. So Ash was my shadow for the day... The time change wasn't too bad... I did pray an awful lot that things would go well. Poor Peyton, her little tummy and my inner clock are not matching up. I keep getting confused that she is not eating when I think she should be... I am relying on the clock too much. I kept trying to force feed her all day, so I wouldn't be nursing when I have a meeting, or when I am supposed to be conducting... Sacrament meeting was good... the bishop's wife spoke and the post title is the thought that she came up with, she likened it to "faith without works is dead"... get it.... I really liked it. It makes me reflect on how good people have been to me and my family these past few months. They've been good to us before then too... just focusing on the present... I want to be more grateful. I want to help others, be more charitable, to show my gratitude. Hope I can manage to do it... I do have plenty of excuses :)... Is Peyton really that big now, already??? I am down to my last three newborn diapers, which she really is too big for anyway... and her feet hang out of the bottom of all her nightgowns, my favorite things... her head support in her car seat even looks like it should come out... I guess she really is that big, she was big to begin with... Speaking of growing children... I got out the new season of dresses for Lynn and Ash. Ashley is wearing dresses now that Lynn was wearing not too long ago. Lynn is wearing dresses that Sophie was wearing not too long ago. Heavens! When did all of this growing-up happen??? Peyton being in the "extra" closet now, really messes me up. The girls extra clothes can't fit in there, and the basement closet, where my clothes go, now have some smaller buddies. We used to have so much space... What's with the recycling guys not picking up our recyclables? What good does it do me to have a recycling can, if it's always too full, and I end up throwing away the recyclables? Yeah, doesn't make much sense. Here's my project...