Pretend like you're not here...

This is one of those, "this is my journal now" posts.
So, consider yourself warned... here comes some TMI, over-share, yet pretty funny personal stuff... so if you want to hear about my hilarious (i.e. non-existent) sex-life, read on!
But if you are grossed-out thinking about the two, me and that (that is for all of you "Twilight"readers out there...), then you might just want to stop reading...... Yup, Katie and Kells... Katie especially, you might not want to hear (or read) it... it's not graphic or anything... but a good time to stop might be...
NOW.
And come visit me another time. I'll warn you in further posts when such over-share is present with XXX next to the post title...
So here goes...
I document only to laugh later, make Mer blush, and to maybe hold it over his head for a little while, and to maybe make you laugh too, and get some girlfriend support... oh, and cause I am pretending this is my journal...
In case you haven't been a regular visitor, I have had a baby within the last three months. In other words, my body isn't pregnant, but is soft in some spots... namely my middle. For some reason, my wonderful husband is not interested in me in the least. I have given him a hard time about it, teasing him to no end. I have recently asked him if he has switched teams on me. Here's the TMI/over-share... 7... yup, months... you think a guy would die! But not my Mer, he must be some different form of superhero, cause he don't care...
I asked him about it right after my six week appointment, which when I brought up the appointment he said, ''What do you need to go back for? Is everything okay?"
I answered, "It is the SIX WEEK APPOINTMENT... you know, when we get the big OK..." not like we waited for that before...
"Oh." yeah, see the interest, feel the raging testosterone??? Yeah, neither did I.
So after the appointment, I told him all about the IUD the awesome Doc. installed (funny way to put it...), he just looked at me. He asked, "Is it going to work?"
"More effective than the pill." My form for our whole married life.
He still freaks out a little. I read him the pamphlet of info, trying to get him to be less freaked-out. He freaked when we were first married too, he wasn't ready for parenthood. I had to remind him that I got pregnant only when we planned it.
I still feel sorry for the poor guy. Those three times, 4 months total when we tried, he knew
I genuinely wasn't interested in HIM, rather that I was ovulating... I am such a user...
So he wasn't interested after the big "OK". No biggie. I kinda wasn't either. I just thought he would be chomping at the bit, so to speak.
A week or so passed. I asked him again, since he hadn't brought it up.
Here's how our conversation went, how I wish I had video, or some way to re-enact it for you at this time... I still giggle...
Me: "So are you that unattracted to me now?" kidding, of course.
Him: "Shut up! No, it's not that."
Me: "Then what?"
Him: "It's just... (he circled the air around his crotch with his hand) I've heard the word tear too much, and you are a feeding station right now... It's not quite there for me yet..."
Me: "...", oh forget he quotation marks, I was just laughing at him!
So time goes by, nothing changes. I try to get him interested, which makes him just go somewhere else. That's around the time that the homosexual comments came into play. It was really rather funny to me.
Now he doesn't say much. He did say that things weren't back to normal yet.
He said, "You're still in your maternity clothes."
Me: "?????" that's what my face said... my mouth said, laughing, "I have been out of my maternity clothes for months!"
Doofus: "Well, there's just nothing 'sexy' going on around here."
I can only laugh at him, wondering what his idea of "sexy" is now...
While watching an episode of "Family Guy" late one night last week, he mad a comment...
Now, I have to give some info., because I know that most of you do not watch this horribly evil and corrupting show, although I do seem to giggle every now and then when I happen to be listening... Peter (main character) is married to Lois. Peter has two friends, Brian (the family dog) and Quagmire (next door neighbor). Both happen to be totally in lust with Lois (remember, wife)... on to the comment...
Mer: "I wish I had friends like Quagmire and Brian, they are so funny..."
Me: "I wish you did too, because then SOMEBODY would be interested in me! (I am laughing so hard...) You can't get all upset about that one Mer.... You walked right into it!"
Whenever someone starts talking or getting all romantic like, or when we took care of Sophie when she had just had her kittens, I tease him, "what does that mean?" or "why are those two people kissing?" or "how did Sophie get pregnant in the first place?" acting like it has been that long and I have forgotten... I love to rib him.
It frustrates me that he won't tell me what he thinks. Maybe he is afraid to tell me what he really thinks, afraid that the postpartum hormones will finally rear their ugly little selves... I wish I had an "Edward" (another "Twilight" insider...) around to read his mind and tell me what my crazy husband, now more like roommate, is thinking...
I have decided that when I am all hot and skinny again, or when he decides he likes me, again, which ever comes first... I am going to tell him, "Tough luck bucko..." that is if I can hold out... I am a Mayes after all...
But then I can see his point... when all is quiet and dark in our house, one of the kids is bound to get up, or we are just beat, or I am reading ;)... it's just not happening... last night Ash was crying in her sleep, having night terrors, I think. If my sweet hubby actually were interested in me again, Ash might have had something to be really scared of... the other soft spot I have, at the base of my back, above my knees...

Happy National Scrapbook Day!!!

So in honor of the holiday...
...I scrapped this.
Yes, it took me less than five minutes.
Yes, Brooke did the majority of the work, she took the photos and she did the announcement digitally...
But you can't blame me for my simplicity, when you see why I wasn't anxious to do a big, full-blown layout...
Brooke is also responsible for getting me into a good book...
How good one might ask?
So good I can't seem to put it down.
I am very good at nursing and holding this book, and the girls have really learned how to take advantage of their addicted mother, and wreaking havoc around the house...
It's REALLY good though...

cutie pie...

This kid is getting cuter by the day! I am tempted to post a "Peyton Pic of the Day". Don't tell me I am wrong about her cuteness...
I have been in a "I miss my Grandma" funk the last couple of days. I have been getting my hands on things that were hers, that she made for me, pictures of her, etc. I can't explain it. The littlest things that I do in my life, I have her to thank. I enjoy reading, she taught that to her kids, my mom taught it to me because of her. She was the one who got us into scrapbooking. When I scrap now, I think of her. Same with pretty much everything else I enjoy doing, other skills I was taught. Being a mother...
Mom called today, Grandma Mayes is doing poorly. She's in the hospital with heart problems. She has already had a pace maker put in. It must be really bad for my aunts to call. Grandma has been in the hospital so many other times, and the only way dad has found out, is because Grandma tells him after the fact. The girls have never met her, and they want to. There isn't a day that they don't bring it up. Whenever they see a plane, they ask when we'll get to go see Grandma Pat. Now I am not sure that they ever will. Strange, I love her because she is my Grandma, but it feels more like she is this friend of my dad's. It has been ten years since I have seen her last. And I went eight years before seeing her then. I still see her in my mind as being young, I know she is older than I think.
She has knee and hip issues, diabetes, and this heart problem. Her doctor has told her she needs to lose weight to help all of the other problems. She is afraid to go by herself, she is afraid she'll fall. So he told her to use her walker. Ummm, no. She found a neighbor buddy to go walking with, but it turned-out that when her walking buddy would come to get her, they would end up watching TV and eating ice cream together... my Grandma is a hoot!
It has been a bummer of a weekend.
As I have said before, it is spring. Merrill is soooo busy, while it is a good thing on one hand, it is a total pain in the butt on the other. He didn't get home from work until nearly eight last night. He left this morning at seven, and didn't come home 'till almost six. Being a single parent sucks sometimes.
And don't even get me started on our health insurance premium increase... I know that we are so blessed to have it, but paying for it... especially when it goes up. I am trying to resolve that, but we'll have to see what happens...
FAITH!!!

punky-peyton

when brooke showed-off her shirt, i knew i had to have one for peyton!
don't be surprised when she is wearing it all the time later this year.. i love it!
thanks for helping me make it today brooke!!!
brooke was kind enough to share her pattern...

Flashback: May 1998...

May 1998:
I was getting ready for the rest of my life, and I was excited!
Mom says that she wasn't.
I was engaged, to be married July 18th (later bumped to August 29th, then bumped again to ???)... so she thought that I would be leaving home, married to some guy that I would later find out, no one really liked...
Well, I sure showed them!
Ten years later, I am married to a totally different guy, whom they love... yes Merrill, YOU! And I have fulfilled my lifetime dream of being a mom, and being fortunate enough to be a homemaker too! My high school guidance counselor titled the "career" as a "domestic Goddess", on a little sheet she had with other information about me.
She was so confused why I was interested in early graduation, why I was so anxious to drop all unnecessary classes. I made a deal in the sixth grade at age 12, that if I took German, and got A's, for six years, they would count German as a fine arts credit, along with an elective credit each year. So senior year, I only had to take the one class, I filled the rest of my credits getting those A's and even playing sports, which helped fill PE requirements...
Oh, how I do not miss High School!!!!
But sometimes, when I look back, I wish that I hadn't wasted what could have been some fun years, with that goofball that was my fiance for such a short time.
Oh well... my dreams came true anyhow!

project for the day!

i got a stat wall hanging as a gift when i had lynn. i made one for ash, and i had to make one for peyton of course!
i painted a 10x10 canvas with "peyton green", really delta "green apple" acrylic paint...
used american craft rub-ons in the font "fred" for her name and stats...
glued on fuzzy green rick-rack by "wright's" with some "quick dry tacky glue"...
and embellished with these two little birdies (pattern below). i made them out of "marcella- by k & company" (target) and "bazzill" card stock papers. their legs and eyes are brown acrylic paint. i modge-podged them onto the canvas and used more "fred sidekicks" rub-ons for the butterfly and "it's a girl".
here's the pattern... one wing and the beak get attached to the back of the body. you can enlarge it to whatever size fits your needs!
inspirations:
ashley's $2 clearance target shirt...
and...
pottery barn catalog.

5 things to know about ashley...

sarah re-tagged me and i love it!!! (so don't be surprised if you get re-tagged for another one of your kiddies... and you had better love it too!)
#1- ash has been a rebel from the start. she was born october 5th, 2004, weighing in at 8 pounds 2 ounces (my doc. told me i wouldn't be able to have babies over 8 pounds vaginally... we'll see about that! i.e see peyton...) ash came via c-section for a combination of many reasons, the one i think was the biggest: she wouldn't turn... i imagine her inner monologue went something like this:
"oh, you're pushing now. do you think i am ready?
i'll stall, i'm so comfy...
so you're still bugging me?
you won't stop pushing?
so you think you want to have a vaginal birth?
ha! (she turns her chin up, or down, depending on how you look at it...)
oh, you think that your pushing will get me to turn?
(more pushing...)
now i've shown you! i am stuck! they'll have to cut me out!"
(laughing victoriously.)
you can see a slight bruise on her head in this pic...
she still is a rebel see "the kernel" post... tell her to blow, she sniffs! #2- she loves, or "lubs" in ashley speak, her sisters... no, she really does! #3- she has two different laughs. one that is this quiet little squeaky laugh, sounds almost like a quiet hiccup. the other, a snort! #4- she "lubs bood"... translation: loves food. if there are no "froot loops", we will buy some by the end of the day. she tries everything, and usually loves it, never complains. she ate el matador salsa with a spoon ever since she could feed herself! loves it to this day... at dinner, she always tells me, "mommy, this is dah-licious!"
#5-
she sleeps with her hands down her pants, or shorts... i sadly don't have any pics of that... but i am sure you can imagine...
we tag:
- anna k.
- zack a.
- kimmy h.
- jock p.
- sophie m.