The happiest puke-face in the world.

I got my due punishment for taking Ashley to lunch at McDonald’s (or as I have so appropriately re-named them “Yak-Donald’s”) yesterday.  You see, there were basically no groceries in our little house.  I fully intended on procuring some while Ashley was at kindergarten (because only one child makes that errand MUCH more enjoyable), but instead, got caught up at Costco, two fabric stores and one thrift store.  Oh, and a book store.  No groceries were purchased (other treasures were), unless you can count the three bricks of Tillamook colby jack I bought at Costco a meal.

So we picked up Ashley at school, and went to that “one place” for lunch.

(It helps to go shopping with a full stomach.  I know, I have had experience shopping with an empty one.  I almost bought a cake at Sam’s club because I skipped lunch one time.)

We had a great lunch, and even greater lunch conversation.

“Mom, I have to tell you something, and I don’t know how I am going to tell you this…”

“Just tell me.”

“But it is something serious and I am not sure how you are going to take it.”

“How about telling me, and seeing how I take it.”

“Okay….”

(Deep breath followed by a sigh.”

“You know that kid from PBS kids, Calliou?”

“Um, yeah.”

(I am thinking about that annoying kid.  The show I dislike SO much because he is ALWAYS whining about something…  why did I ever buy that DVD?!?)

“Well mom, he’s bald.”

I’m laughing.

“Seriously mom.  He has NO HAIR.”

“Well (more laughing) that is usually how one looks when they are bald.”

Holy crack me up.

Then, while shopping, she brought up an un-finished conversation that started during sacrament meeting. 

“Mom, does your middle finger really mean a bad word?”

(See why it was left unfinished during sacrament meeting?  I seriously prayed that she would forget entirely about it.  That seemed like an appropriate thing to do during sacrament meeting, pray, I mean.)

“Yes.”

“What bad word is it?”

“I will not say it.”

“Why not?!  Tell me!!”

“No.  It is the worst word ever.  The finger is an obscene gesture, it is basically telling someone: ‘Forget You”, and that just isn’t nice, we don’t want to forget people.”

“So we shouldn’t show people our middle finger?”

“No.”

Later on, she got a paper cut.  The only reason why I knew was because she was trying to swing (in the nanosecond of actual spring weather we had yesterday..) with a Kleenex wrapped around her middle finger.

I asked if she wanted me to put a band aid on it.

“Yes.  I am tired of holding my bad word finger.”

See, funny.

But now I get to the follow-up to our little trip to “Yak-Donald’s”…

I get her up to get ready this morning.  She doesn’t feel good and proceeds to throw up.  (I am blaming “Yak-Donald’s only because the food is gross and the place is a breeding grounds for all sorts of communicable diseases.) 

But get this:

She is the happiest, cutest, sweetest puker in the whole world.

(Of this I am completely sure.)

“I love you mommy.”  she said after I wiped her face.

“Thank you mommy, I love you.”  she said in between heaves while I held her hair out of her face while it was in the toilet.

“I love you mommy.”  she said again while I pulled it into a ponytail while she threw-up in the barf bowl.

And after every session of heaving, there would be a little, weak smile on her sweet face.  I wouldn’t be smiling if I were barfing the day away.  I could learn something from this kid.

Later on, after a bubble bath in my tub, she thanked me again.

“I love you mom.  I am sorry for giving you attitude and not being nice or making good choices, and you love me anyway.”

That is my job.  To love her and take care of her no matter what, and sometimes she gets it.

She really is the sweetest, happiest, cutest puke-face ever.  I am glad she is done puking though.