I didn't blog last night, I was a bit too emotional. I found out the source of Merrill's headaches and sleeplessness.... ME! He told me about how stressed he was over having Peyton. He worries about being able to provide enough. He's especially worried about the car situation. I feel so bad. I don't think I can ever fully understand his fears, I am not in his position as a provider. I feel like I am relying on faith here. We weren't sure just how things were going to work out having Ash, but they did! That is the same attitude that I choose to have. We are doing what is right, and we will be blessed for it.

I now understand that when I think he's kidding around and being smart-alecy, that that is his way of expressing his worries and fears without making it such a downer for me. For example: The other night, I brought up how he doesn't talk to Peyton, you know, cutesy stuff, like he did when I was pregnant with Lynn and Ash. His reply, "Well, what am I going to say to her? 'Hi Peyton! I don't know how I am going to provide for you, how I will even pay for your delivery!'" I laughed, because that's how he delivered it, like a joke instead of a real worry. Today was a better day for him. I think that maybe it's because he finally told me how he really feels. I just feel bad that this whole time, I am nothing but excited, making things for her and decorating, going through all of the little girl stuff, just preparing for her, meanwhile, he's stressing-out.

Speaking of stress... Lynn ans Ash both have this cold. Nasty cough, sore throat, and Ash has a gross looking nose. Perfect way to celebrate the holiday, with a humidifier going, plenty use of Kleenex (and hand washing to follow), breathing treatments, and lots of drugs... I can't wait until the froggy/hoarse voices are gone and their sweet little girl voices return!

Good news... We finished quilting Peyton's quilt yesterday! We took it off the frames and I went and got the traditional eyelet lace for the edge! When she is finally here, I plan to bust out my own Strawberry Shortcake quilt from the old cedar chest, and have the girls and I pose for a pic with all of our quilts! I love it!

Ash took her baby everywhere with her today! She carried her around like she was the real thing, talking to her and singing to her. It was so cute. When I asked her what her baby's name was she told me "Peyton". It's funny because Lynn used to do the same thing, name her dolls "Ashley". When we ran a few errands, and the flurries started, Ash started singing, "Baby it's cold outside..." Can you tell who listens to the Christmas music around here?

I am so thankful for prayer!!!
I know I've said that things need to be taken care of, calling wise... I've been worrying about that and how to get it done. And today my prayers were answered when the Bishop approached me. It will all be better.
Lynn has a fever, again, and this morning she told me her throat was sore too. When she found out that that meant she couldn't go to primary, she said that she felt all better. Since when has there been a fight over her wanting to go? Anyway, she really wanted the kids to sing "Happy Birthday" to her. Once I told her that they could sing to her next week, she was okay. Merrill is still battling a headache from FRIDAY... I need a wonder drug for him.
My divinity last night:
First attempt: syrup turned into hard candy. I got a phone call, church stuff, while we (yes, a family activity) were cooking the syrup, and it went a little longer than I thought it would, of course... We got hard candy. I forgot to tell him to turn down the heat.
The second attempt we were more careful, maybe too careful... We cooked it, to what I thought was hard ball stage, mom tells me it was probably in the first stages of that but not to temperature. You are supposed to beat it in the beaten egg yolks, until the gloss leaves, about 5 to 6 minutes. 15 minutes later, it was still glossy. Ash and I enjoyed eating it with spoons. It was like marshmallow cream. Mer and Lynn thought we were crazy! I decided to just dump it out on a cookie sheet and see if it would set up. It did a little. It tastes just like it should, just not the right consistency. And now Lynn enjoys some tastes too.

Inevitable spiritual high today... had a baptism. After a little chaos (there always has to be some...), everything went well. I love my calling, but especially this part, you are guaranteed to feel the Spirit! No matter what else is going on in your life, you always feel it.
I cannot wait for tomorrow to be over with, though! I have all of my puzzle pieces put together, and I need to have the stamp of approval, if you will, stamped upon them. There has been so much that needs to be re-figured in Primary (and Scouts, oh and how!), and I've been ready and waiting... just waiting for that one phone call! FRUSTRATING!
We watched Evan today while Brooke took pictures for Ken and Promise. He is so dang cute! I love to see the different personalities in the kids in our family. He and Merrill played together for awhile and it was too cute. Merrill was trying so hard to get him to laugh out-loud. You see, when Evan is tired, he does this cute little inside chuckle. He wants to laugh out-loud but it's like he's just too tired. Merrill kept working at it but finally gave up. He is just such a sweet baby. I was hoping he might help me in convincing Merrill to go again (Yes, mom, I know that I am pregnant...) for a boy.
The girls are watching "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer", again. We watched it last night and they both loved it so much! They especially love the "Thing". I've never heard Lynn giggle so much, she thinks his voice is hilarious! They also love that his favorite phrase is, "Aw, crap!" Which must be really funny since it is a garbage word in our house.
I am on my way to make divinity, I've had a craving. Let's hope it turns out, it is my first time doing it solo....

I am so thankful that our family is able to be together so much!
Today, the girls and I, went down to the warehouse and put up Merrill's Christmas tree. We had so much fun decorating it together. I love the small perks that come with the job he has and how close it is to home. I know of others, whose husbands have an awful commute and it isn't possible to stop in and have a snack or lunch with dad, let alone a visit just for the fun of it. Sure, in the springtime and summertime, we don't see much of him. Sundays are our only day, but it comes to times like these. The little things we are able to do and I know that is a blessing.
Tonight we had pizza for dinner and watched a movie. Ash snuggled-up to Merrill and told him how much she loved him. She then followed it up with, "I am going to marry you tomorrow, okay dad?" How could he turn that one down!

So I am thinking here, I needed to add another post here, one that is separated from my heartfelt one below...
I have been in a funk lately that I have been self-medicating with food. The other night it was a chocolate Haagen-Daz bar covered in dark chocolate, then some late night pumpkin pie buried in whipped cream, a few nights before that it was spaghetti with homemade marinara around 10 pm, another night a dark chocolate Dove ice cream bar (see how I love dark chocolate...), and last night... I know I mentioned Ben & Jerry's... I didn't come back to say that it ended up being the whole pint! I really love the graham cracker swirl in the strawberry cheesecake swirl ice cream. I just couldn't stop. Once I got all the graham cracker out, I rationalized that there really wasn't enough left to bother saving it for later, so I just ate the rest...
1 pint = 4 servings
1 serving = 260 calories
260 x 4 = 1040 calories (and that's if my Roy High School math skills are correct...)
So who wants an update on how much I weigh after my next doctor's appointment? (Which I should add will be conveniently after Thanksgiving...)
Oh, and yes, it helped me feel better, a little bit.

I am thankful for family and friends who share the same beliefs and values I do.
Watching, or just listening to the news, lately, it seems that everyone is so backwards. It makes me start to question if the decisions that I am making for myself and for my family are really the right ones. Once you turn it all off and separate yourself from it, you can think a little more clearly. You don't have so many voices and so many opinions telling you what is right. It's not always something major, sometimes it's what you should be reading to your kids, or how often, or what kind of foods they should be eating... I have to remember, that I have been given blessings that give me the direction I need. I pray, and I am given answers, or just peace of mind to let it be. Here's where the friends and family come in... I can have a conversation with one of these people that I am so thankful for, and they might share the same concern. Sometimes it is talked about at length, and we have come to the same conclusion. Sometimes it is just a mention of something that we believe, and you feel so much stronger knowing that you are not alone.
My mom and I had a conversation like this today while we were quilting. We talked about a lot of things. We both get emotional about everything, her being menopausal and me being prego just heighten it. But we started talking about the drought in Georgia. This whole situation in Georgia is something that I find so interesting. People are going nuts that a Governor would hold a prayer service for rain. Isn't it funny, that there are times when we need to be humbled, be reminded of who is really in charge, of who you should turn to when you have a problem? There are skeptics out there, saying that prayer won't help. I find it interesting that last night at the end of "Nightline", they showed a shot of the night sky over Atlanta, and it was raining. We both started to cry. I know that Heavenly Father loves us and that those slight showers were no coincidence.

I am thankful for two times of day, today.
First, when Merrill came home from work. He helps to bear the load of two, suddenly very hormonal, little girls. After trying to understand why they are freaking-out all day long, and why they seem to be on a roller coaster of emotions today, I am thankful for that wonderful time when he came home and I now have back-up.
The second time of day, I bet you'll never guess... BEDTIME. Right now. Yes a little earlier than usual, but I think I've had my fill for the day. I am trying to enjoy some Ben & Jerry's even as we speak.
Why is it that some days, they have an obstruction in their ears, that prevents them form hearing just about everything I say? Why do they take turns for who wants to go in a tizzy over the slightest unfair anything? I swear, I was never so hormonal. And here we are, adding a third ball of female hormones to the already volatile mix...
It's not all bad, and maybe I really am hormonal... Maybe that's why this is bugging me so bad today...