Tuesday, December 30, 2008

It's not me... IT'S YOU!!

I've got to break up with you..
Goodbye $15, cheap, no good, Wal-Mart special hair straightener... I will not miss you one bit.
Sure, I was desperate when you and I hooked up. I had just gotten a new cut, a short one. The style of it required some flat-ironing, some sass, and you were there. Your price was right, and you were okay. I needed you.
As time went on, I found that much was lacking in our relationship. You weren't as hot as I originally thought you were... you were pretty high maintenance for something I thought would make my life easier. You were not helpful with the little ones! You made their already unwanted time in the bathroom styling their hair even longer. You were just in the way after a while.. you weren't as skinny as others I saw. I did not look forward to the styling process after I would blow my hair out. It was usually a very unpleasant time spent with you after that. You required special product to work at least a little bit, and after that, I felt like I needed to wash my hair all over again! It took a while to get you "in the mood" too.. what a turn off for me. You weren't bright and bubbly, cute and fun to be around. You were quite drab and boring, to be truthful. We had to spend a lot of time to just get the job done, and I didn't want to be around you anymore, so, you've been replaced.
Her name is Pinky, very cute. She's much sleeker, funner to be around, HOT, she doesn't take a fortnight to heat up, she is also very helpful with the wee ones. I don't have to part and section off hair to get each layer to straighten. She's small enough to give us the perfect flip to our ends. She even lets me choose how hot I want it.. I look forward to those days when washing my hair is a must. I look forward to her company, and I don't have to be with her long, but sometimes I wouldn't mind if our time together was longer. I like to do the girls hair now. I am trying to bribe them to come and hang out with us.. I didn't want them to know you. You are like a bad friend who brings everyone down.
By far, this is one of the loveliest Christmas gifts ever! The only thing that might beat it out would be this:
A Dyson. A Dyson Animal to be downright specific..
My vacuum sucks so bad, it DOESN'T SUCK.. it is the only task that I loathe more than doing hair. (That is with cleaning up vomit, scrubbing toilets, and even Merrill's warehouse urinal included..) it will one day meet up with you in the landfill.. where you can reminisce together about how you two pieces of crap had it so godd when you didn't deserve it..
I know it wasn't as cheap as you were... but well worth it!
(Thanks Darlene!!)
**(hint, hint Mer.. my birthday is in 21 days.. I will gladly take a belated birthday gift after we get our income tax return back :) I will also save my Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons to help.. Love ya!)*


Bonnie said...

A new vacuum would be my dream b-day present as well, though I think it will be digital scrapbooking software this year. I never knew how close our b-days are, mine is on the 7th!

GRAMEE said...

i got a dyson when we moved to arizona. now it wasn't an animal but it was a cute yellow one(not much carpet here) it is wonderful let me tell you! i just love to vacuum now!
emalees aunt barbara she has an animal. she has cats. she loves hers!

Ashley and Devan said...

Isn't it funny how we grow up and ask for cleaning items for our birthdays? I so so so want a Dyson too. My dream cleaning machine. I hope you get one! Oh, and I love the tutus.. too too cute!

Six-Pack Momma said...

Is your cute new flat iron a pink Chi? And yes, the Dyson is just as fantastic.

stacy said...

hooray, i love getting a new flat iron. being in the profession i am, i have gone through a few! i also know how sucky it is to have one that is crap. so hooray for you....your a very lucky girl!
my sis and parents have a dyson. they love them. my sis said when she used it for the very first time it looked like her carpet had been shampooed it was so clean! i will send some hints to mer when i cut his hair tomorrow! see you on friday!

Promise said...

Min...I am glad you broke it off with the crappy straightner! You deserve better than that! I dumped mine a while ago too...but haven't replaced it yet. I just can't decide if it is even worth my time! =)
I too would love a new vacuum...and would love it to be a Dyson. Probably only in my dreams though!

Emalee said...

I think we got out dyson at the first of November. I used it last week for the first time and LOVE it. I am not sure what kind it is. I like it though!!! Oh and I LOVE my chi hope thats what you got, mine is not pink though!!!

BookwormMom said...

Isn't it great to finally have a professional quality straightener? I look back of pics of myself before, and I wonder WHAT I was thinking!!!

Oh, and I have the Dyson Animal, courtesy of my wonderful MIL, and we LOVE it...even though we now have the wood thru most the upstairs, it is soooo nice for our basement...especially with our cats!

Rachael said...

I had that exact same straightener a while back. I hated it, so I gave it away and get me one from target. Then when that one didn't work anymore Jesse took me to Sally's and got me a nicer one. I love it. I get out of the shower dry my hair with a towel, put moose in my hair comb it in, let it air dry and blow dry. Then my hair has so much body that when I straighten my hair it looks way cute. I good straightener and good Moose are so hard to find, but when you do you feel so good you never want to go without them ever again.