Potty Talk..

(Please forgive me for the absence of photos for this post..  I am sure, that by the end of it, you will have forgiven me.)

Ashley has some issues.

Not just with her potty mouth, but with her potty-ing habits.

The girls forgets to flush 85% of the time.

And 80% of those times, the gross factor is increased by the absence of toilet paper.

It’s true.

The usual culprit: Ashley.

This activity has lead to bribes, then threats, then more incentives, if she would just remember to wipe, and flush.  We’ve yet to reach 100% success.

I just don’t have the time to be potty police during the day.  I have roughly 374 other things going on during the course of the average day, and making sure everyone has adequately cleaned their individual cracks and crevices isn’t on that list.  I do routinely flush the toilets during the day as I find deposits in the three that are in our house.

So this evening, as Merrill sat, listening to his music, the left side of the headphones off his left ear, the TV on quietly (something on the discover channel), and I sat, holding a sleeping Peyton (enjoying part two of the nap she started during sacrament meeting..), and was enjoying my current read.

Lynn came in, serious as could be.

“Mom, Dad, I have something important to tell you..”

“What is is honeybear?”  I ask, feeling a tattle coming on.

“Ashley went potty and didn’t flush.  It was tinkle and poop.  It was so gross!  She shouldn’t get any points because she didn’t flush.”

This has piqued Merrill’s curiosity.  He suddenly turns into the apt toilet detective.

“Now how do we know it was Ashley?  What does it look like?”

This gets me laughing immediately.  This particular question coming from this guy..  this is the guy who 1) doesn’t believe that women take part in anything but urination, when they visit a bathroom, at least until they become something that he is interested in; and 2) when the girls were each going through their potty-training phases, so excited about what they each deposited into the toilet, would go to daddy, wanting him to see and then praise.  He wouldn’t even look.  He would pretend by looking, but turning his head away at the right moment, or closing his eyes.  He gave his fake approval too.

Lynn quickly answered her dad’s question, “Well, I flushed it cause it was too gross..”

“Oh no…  then there’s no way we can tell who the perpetrator was without the poop proof.”

“No!  I can remember what it looked like..  kind of..  there was some toilet paper on it.”

Whew!  At least there is some good news in this…  she wiped.

Lynn was all business as she drew the BM with her finger in the air that was between them.

Before she even finished, Merrill stopped her and said, “Oh!  That is just what Ashley’s poops look like!”

Lynn was all too pleased with herself.

“Ashley is the perpetrator of the plopper poop…  Lynn’s are long and lean.”  Like he knows.

At this point I am laughing so hard, I am crying. 

He was totally kidding this girl, and she was all business about it.

Lynn wanted the sentence handed down to our porcelain criminal quickly, so with tears in my eyes and on my cheeks, trying to talk while laughing, I told Ashley, “Please, remember to flush next time.”