Thursday, September 16, 2010

Good, Better, Best.

I have always had a hard time saying “no”.

I do say it, when needed…  or maybe not, I did attend a totally ridiculous meeting at 7:30 AM on a Sunday..  maybe I need more practice..

Anyway, I do say “no”, when I really need to.

Just like yesterday.

There were these totally random guys going through the neighborhood selling meat out of a deep freezer in the back of their pick-up, and I said “no” to them.

I also told myself “no” when I saw a really cute sweater dress at Target for Peyton.  I found an equally as cute corduroy dress and I said “no” to that one too!  Even though she doesn’t have many fall-ish, or winter-ish dresses, I told myself that I can make that with the gazillion supplies I have lying around at home.

So see, I can say “no”.

(I have also said “no” to drugs many times.)

(Come to think of it, I say “no” to my kids a lot!)

Beyond capable, don’t you think?

I am compelled to agree with myself here..


(See, I totally said it again!)

Then why do I feel so guilty to say it?  Why is it so hard to say, “No, thank you.  I can’t do that.  Thanks for thinking of me though!”

(And now, my dear friends and family, you are probably wondering, “Oh..  I asked her to do that one thing, she’s talking to me…”   and it’s not you.  Pinky swear it.)

It is all of those BIG opportunities that would make money (cha-ching!!) or be something I would really like to do, something that I already enjoy doing, but would require a huge commitment on my part.  Sure they would be “good”…  but would they really be the “best” for me?

Huge commitments equal more time away from my family, or more time taken away from what I do at home.

I can’t do that.  That isn’t good enough for me.

I must learn to say “no” without guilt.

There are some opportunities that have come my way, and to my temporal mind, they make total sense. They would be “good”.   But when I take them to the Lord in prayer, the answer doesn’t quite come back the same.  There is something “better” I can be doing.

Since I am trying to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior that way, I am trying really hard to do the things that they direct me to do, even if it sounds really fun or “good” to me, or doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal.  They still know better than I do.  I shouldn’t say “no” to them.  They only have the “best” in store for me.

I find myself losing the little time that I try to spend doing things that I enjoy.  I have projects stacked from the floor to the ceiling!  Where is all my darling summer/sunshine craft ideas?  FINISHED crafts I ask?  Oh, in that pile. 

I want to live a better organized life.  I want to spend my time more wisely.  I want my family to be better off with me than they would be with the possible money I could make, but less of me and my time.

While I may see things as the “best”, they really aren’t.  I just need to step back, and take care of what is most important in my life right now: my little family and our home.

- Our home needs to be clean and organized.  Not just cleaning a bit here, and there when there is time.  I used to have a cleaning day, it has exploded into 4.

- Forget running errands every day or even every other day.  I need to budget my time more wisely.  Plan them and get them done in one day so I have more time to get those other things done.

- Invest in my children.  When they are home, I need to be home with them (except for those hot dates and girls nights out..  there need to be more of both of those though too!).  I need to invest in them.  I am volunteering in Ashley’s class once a week, and I am committed to that.  Our evenings on weeknights are just us, at home, reading, playing, and relaxing together.  We need to keep that going.  Homework is now a priority now, that will help them later.

- I need to have at least a little time to myself.  I need to put off some things that “need” to be done, to invest in myself.  I need to do things that I enjoy doing, whether it be drawing, sewing, taking pictures,  reading, crafting, or scrapbooking.  It needs to be okay for me to do those things.

Those HUGE commitments need to be told “no”.  I have plenty to take care of in my own little corner of life and the product will be the “best” because I will rely on a higher power to direct me.


BookwormMom said...

Sounds like you have your priorities in the right order to me!!!!

I must say that it's nice to know you struggle with this also. I look at you and only see the confidence of a woman that is living the life she wants, and I wonder how you do it all. I Know in my head that everyone struggles this way at times...but sometimes my heart refuses to believe it and I get down on myself. Thanks for the timely reminder:)

Rachael said...

Oh... Man! One day I'll have everything all written down, and organized. Maybe next month (Crossing my fingers).

I would also really like to be able to help out in Hayden's class once a week as well, but I don't have anyone close to watch Kimmy during that time. Still trying to figure something out there.

I've also had to tell myself "No" it is hard, but it is so much fun to put something cuter together than what you wanted to buy in the first place. :)

Tiffany said...

Well said! This is what I've been thinking about lately, funny how we seem to be on the same wavelength a lot of times. :)

I'm actually making some changes in my life and, while they are hard, it's making things better. Funny how happiness is all in setting the right priorities.

Ally's Corner said...

Seems a lot of us feel that way. I just gave notice at my job for the same reasons in your post. I'll post about it soon on my blog.

Sunshine and Lazy days said...

Life is so interesting! I have been studying for a talk, and what you just said I read last night! Crazy! It was a talk given in 2003 by Bonnie D Parkin titled "Choosing the Good part" she gave the example of Mary and Martha in the new testament. Mary was sitting at Jesus's feet, listening to him teach, while Martha was busy making dinner..she was feeling stressed and complained, asking the Savior if Mary could help her out, and the Savior in his wisdom replied "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things, but one thing is needful and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" dinner that time could wait. meaning, sometimes we get caught up in works that are good, like making dinner..but that sometimes, we need to slow down and turn to the spiritual side of our lives, even when that means letting some things wait. And you, my dear friend Mindy, you are choosing the good part by saying "no" to things when you need too! See, I learn from you every single time I read your blog! :)(sorry so long!)

Bonnie said...

Thanks, that was the best post!

Julie said...

Very nice. It's good to be reminded that we should not feel guilty for saying, "no." Our little ones grow so fast and soon they are gone (even when it's just to school for a couple hours).

Courtney said...

Just said "no" last night. Well, not exactly no, but a round about version of it. Good girl, and well done. It's a hard job being a mommy. It takes more work to be a really good wife, mommy, and follower of Jesus Christ. You're a constant inspiration and motivation to be better at all of it. Thank you!