Good, Better, Best.

I have always had a hard time saying “no”.

I do say it, when needed…  or maybe not, I did attend a totally ridiculous meeting at 7:30 AM on a Sunday..  maybe I need more practice..

Anyway, I do say “no”, when I really need to.

Just like yesterday.

There were these totally random guys going through the neighborhood selling meat out of a deep freezer in the back of their pick-up, and I said “no” to them.

I also told myself “no” when I saw a really cute sweater dress at Target for Peyton.  I found an equally as cute corduroy dress and I said “no” to that one too!  Even though she doesn’t have many fall-ish, or winter-ish dresses, I told myself that I can make that with the gazillion supplies I have lying around at home.

So see, I can say “no”.

(I have also said “no” to drugs many times.)

(Come to think of it, I say “no” to my kids a lot!)

Beyond capable, don’t you think?

I am compelled to agree with myself here..

No?

(See, I totally said it again!)

Then why do I feel so guilty to say it?  Why is it so hard to say, “No, thank you.  I can’t do that.  Thanks for thinking of me though!”

(And now, my dear friends and family, you are probably wondering, “Oh..  I asked her to do that one thing, she’s talking to me…”   and it’s not you.  Pinky swear it.)

It is all of those BIG opportunities that would make money (cha-ching!!) or be something I would really like to do, something that I already enjoy doing, but would require a huge commitment on my part.  Sure they would be “good”…  but would they really be the “best” for me?

Huge commitments equal more time away from my family, or more time taken away from what I do at home.

I can’t do that.  That isn’t good enough for me.

I must learn to say “no” without guilt.

There are some opportunities that have come my way, and to my temporal mind, they make total sense. They would be “good”.   But when I take them to the Lord in prayer, the answer doesn’t quite come back the same.  There is something “better” I can be doing.

Since I am trying to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior that way, I am trying really hard to do the things that they direct me to do, even if it sounds really fun or “good” to me, or doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal.  They still know better than I do.  I shouldn’t say “no” to them.  They only have the “best” in store for me.

I find myself losing the little time that I try to spend doing things that I enjoy.  I have projects stacked from the floor to the ceiling!  Where is all my darling summer/sunshine craft ideas?  FINISHED crafts I ask?  Oh, in that pile. 

I want to live a better organized life.  I want to spend my time more wisely.  I want my family to be better off with me than they would be with the possible money I could make, but less of me and my time.

While I may see things as the “best”, they really aren’t.  I just need to step back, and take care of what is most important in my life right now: my little family and our home.

- Our home needs to be clean and organized.  Not just cleaning a bit here, and there when there is time.  I used to have a cleaning day, it has exploded into 4.

- Forget running errands every day or even every other day.  I need to budget my time more wisely.  Plan them and get them done in one day so I have more time to get those other things done.

- Invest in my children.  When they are home, I need to be home with them (except for those hot dates and girls nights out..  there need to be more of both of those though too!).  I need to invest in them.  I am volunteering in Ashley’s class once a week, and I am committed to that.  Our evenings on weeknights are just us, at home, reading, playing, and relaxing together.  We need to keep that going.  Homework is now a priority now, that will help them later.

- I need to have at least a little time to myself.  I need to put off some things that “need” to be done, to invest in myself.  I need to do things that I enjoy doing, whether it be drawing, sewing, taking pictures,  reading, crafting, or scrapbooking.  It needs to be okay for me to do those things.

Those HUGE commitments need to be told “no”.  I have plenty to take care of in my own little corner of life and the product will be the “best” because I will rely on a higher power to direct me.