Saturday, December 22, 2007

"Wild Women Don't Get the Blues..."

This is why I stay up so late, scrapbooking... That and Peyton wouldn't stop kicking, moving, sticking her bum out, and basically just being a wild woman in training... So I am a pregnant, LDS, mother of two, who lives in Utah... Scrapbooking until 1 am is the way I know best to be "wild", so I don't get the blues when I really might start to feel CRAZY!
Here are some of my thoughts about being preggers today... Before you read, just know how much I really love being pregnant, I am not being sarcastic, I just have been thinking of some of the comedic things we endure while pregnant...
1. I know that it is getting closer to baby's birthday, when my belly-button scrapes against the magnetic latch thingie for my shower door... I can't fit anymore!
2. I get to buy "ointment" that goes in a place that nobody wants to talk about, and that I made fun of constantly until I was sneakily trying to buy some yesterday... I guess by the third time around, your body tries to surprise you still.
3. You get to have contractions, especially because you are a crazy women running around, because you thought you were done with all of your shopping, but then you remembered something you forgot, and you had to go out again.... (there will be a continuation of this in further items on this list...)
4. Those fun contractions really make you panic, when, after buying yourself an early Christmas gift, i.e. a RED terry cloth robe, and using it, it leaves RED lint in a place related to contractions and childbirth, and you panic, and then realize how dumb you are... RED ROBE...
5. Since I always go by the size on the hanger, I never check the size on the tags at the time I am purchasing, you think I'd learn by now... But, no. I get to go out again today, because the hanger said 12 months, the tag says 3...
6. I am going to ask to examine my placenta after the baby is born. I have seen placentas before, I am just wondering if mine will closely resemble my brain, I mean, be identical to my brain, as it has sucked EVERYTHING from it... Shouldn't it look like it by now???
7. I know it's getting close to the end when my pants just won't stay up anymore, and my extra large tank-top undershirts, don't cover my belly... most of the time.
8. But all of it is worth it! I am so excited, I can hardly wait, but I will miss it all too, especially the bumps and thumps and jumps that help me stay awake so late. It is REALLY worth it when my five year old, who has been telling me that she wants to be a ballerina for the last few months, tells me today that she changed her mind and wants to "be a mom" just like me. She told me this while she was making her bed and "practicing to be a mom".

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