Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Story from the past...

Casey tagged me..
He's such a cute guy, so I'll do it, just for him! ;)
When Merrill and I were first married, we lived in a lovely, but small apartment. Summertime was the season in season at this particular time, and it was hot, and we were bored. Our new-found way of living was already, becoming monotonous... I needed to shake things up a bit.
I was at a party supply store (no, I was not going to throw a party to shake it up.. I really can't remember why I was there..) and I found a package of plastic spiders.. Merrill HATES spiders. I was the spider murderer in our house for a LONG time; he disliked them sooo much.
I was pondering what to do with these little pant-peeing-inducers, where to strategically place them and so forth, when I decided to consult my dad, the master of practical jokes.
He gave me the best spot, a better spot I would have never come up with in my own, inexperienced mind.
Under the toilet seat.
Right next to where his hand would have to be to lift the seat, to commence in doing his business..
So, I rushed home to plant the bugger, before he got home from work. I used a little dot of rubber cement, my scrapbooking adhesive at the time. It was there! Waiting...
He came home, and me, being the perfect wife, had a warm, balanced, nutritious dinner, waiting for him at the table.
I honestly thought he'd have to go use the facilities before dinner.. he didn't.
He probably was wondering what sort of girl he had married when I kept asking him, if he had to go to the bathroom.
"Don't you have to go yet? I mean.. you haven't gone at all since you've been home.."
Weirdo.. he must have been thinking..
Bedtime came. He brushed his teeth, but no toilet-using needs.
We said prayers.. then I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom before we retired for the night.
Like I was his mom and he was a newly trained toddler who knew not the feeling of urgency.
Yup, wierd-o... me.
So, I let it go. Feeling much like a child on Christmas Eve, not being able to sleep due to much anticipation and excitement.
I finally did doze off...
I woke a little after seven.
No Merrill next to me in the bed.
A smile, a sly, satisfied, devilish smile surfaced on my tired face.
I went to find him.. and did.. sitting on the couch, remote in hand, watching Fox 13's morning newscast, with the angriest look on his face.. okay, maybe not so much anger.. more annoyance.
He proceeded to give me a full account of the event that transpired in the bathroom, much earlier that morning.
"I woke up around four, needing to go to the bathroom. I didn't turn on the light, I didn't want to disturb you.. I lifted the seat, and began.. then, as the sleep left my eyes, just enough, I saw something black on the toilet seat, right next to where my hand had been. I stopped.. and you know how bad that hurts Mindy!!! I backed-up, to get the broom from the closet. My plan was to hit it with the broom, and knock it into the toilet, then flush it. I kept hitting it, and it wasn't moving!! I hit it harder.. and nothing. Then it dawned on me.. IT WASN'T MOVING.. and I knew what you did. I was so full of adrenalin, and so mad, I couldn't go back to sleep.."
I was rolling!!!
Imagining him , trying to knock a fake spider off the toilet seat, from the opposite end of a broom.. in his PJs!!!
Oh.. I was so good!!!
Until he told me to watch out.. he was going to get me back...


Six-Pack Momma said...

Ha ha ha! Can't wait to hear how he got you back!

GRAMEE said...

now the only other man i know afraid of spiders is kyle my son in law..
oh he would be so mad if em did this..but the grand kids are going for a visit for spring break they could get away with it..oh they could.

The Anderson's said...

I almost peed my pants from laughing! Great story!

Jamie said...

Ha ha!! I can totally relate to Merrill on that one... I hate spiders as well and Manny put a fake one on my side of the bed one night! You and Manny can be so cruel sometimes... :)

kdance10 said...


Rachael said...

Ha hahaahaaa.... You got him good! I would have screamed and yelled at Jesse right then (after the heart attack).

Jenny said...

Oh man, you are too GOOD! I am going to call you before April Fool's day to get some ideas. I am horrible at practical jokes.

Ally0005 said...

OK that's funny. Ok what did he do to get you back, tell us please!!!!!!!!!

Bonnie said...

Love it, hilarious. I think I've been inspired..