Friday, June 5, 2009

Flashback Friday..

I have blogged about that one guy from the past.. the one that I was engaged to, until Merrill put an end to it :)
I have had friends from high school ask me, "WHO?!" I wasn't around school a lot my senior year, I had one class that was necessary for me to take, and that was all I went for. This guy was out of school, and too cool for my high school life, so I tried to be cool enough for his.
Well, his identity has remained anonymous for long enough...
I no longer need to protect him..
At the risk of embarrassing myself..






At least my rendition of him..
Really.. how do I even explain this chapter of my life? In not too many words..
- I was lonely.
- Boyfriend (who was for a LONG time, who was also one of my best friends) broke up with me, gave no explanation..
- I was heartbroken.
- Joe had Jackie, and I wanted what they had..
- Self esteem was pretty much non-existent, when this dude showed interest, I bit.
Then, after I was with him for a while, the relationship took the natural progression. I knew I wasn't supposed to be with him, but stayed with him because:
A- my parents said I shouldn't be with him, I deserved better (but they didn't say exactly that..), so basically out of rebellion.. I bought a black bra and pierced my ears a second time as my next rebellious acts.
2- I thought that no one would really want to be with me... you know, marry me.
So, we made plans.
Even though I was really embarrassed by just about everything he did.. his ears, both of them pierced. His lack of physical fitness. He had a thing for toes and feet (bleh!!). Liked licking ears.. he was weird! The way he yawned.. silences were awkward. He didn't respect me. I couldn't be myself. He lied to me.. many times.
But I went on with the charade, praying for happiness all the while, fully knowing it wasn't right.
I had the dress.
The cake was drawn up and ready to be made.
Matron and maid of honor, bridesmaids, and flower girl dresses, all bought.
Plans for the reception all laid out. Help enlisted.
Bridal and engagement photos taken.
Announcements picked out (but not printed.. we kept changing our date.).
Temple booked.
I left for Lake Powell with a mission at hand; to figure out the answer which I already knew, but to return home with the courage to follow through with it.
Merrill gave that to me.
Our wedding date came with neither one of us showing up at the temple.
No cake was baked or decorated.
My dress hung in my parent's basement, and waited, next to my cake topper, and silk flower bouquet of daisies.
Hey, the wedding party got some free digs out of it!
So Merrill saved me..
Ashley has a more grand vision of how it all went down:
"Right when you were gonna say 'I Do',Dad runned in to the church and said, 'STOP!! I love her..' and that is how dad stopped your wedding, huh mom?"
Not quite, but the ending is still the same..
We lived happily ever after..

**So here, for YOUR enjoyment (yes, just for YOU..), is a picture, not a fake one..
It's my Senior Cotillion.
He promised to take me, but said he couldn't afford it.
This was my graduation gift from my parents.
They paid for the dance ticket, his Tux rental, flowers, and dinner.
My dress was borrowed from Jaclyn, to save on money, so we could have something besides Arby's with his employee discount for dinner that night.
I kept thinking to myself, "You should ask Merrill Pitcher is he wants to go.."
He says he would have jumped at the chance..
I love him!!


Brooke said...

has anyone ever said he looks like lloyd christmas... ;)

Ally0005 said...

So where is he today, do you know.

Julie said...

So glad you made the right choice. Merrill is so much better than that other guy (even though I never knew him, I know it's true).

Sunshine and Lazy days said...

That guy looks really familiar, maybe i saw him with you! I'm glad Merrill saved you! Isn't it crazy how things work out? =)

kdance10 said...

That's too fuuny! I have a similar story i dated a kid for a year while my now husband was on his mission and we talked about marriage it's wierd and scary to think what if huh? You and mer are much cuter together:)

Emalee said...

hmmm, I wish I would have had the courage to walk a way the first time. That would be why I have an ex husband.......

Bonnie said...

So crazy! I had a similar experience before I met Ryan. Funny, I was even talking to Ry about it on our trip and comparing how my life could have turned out SO much different if I hadn't had the courage to leave. I met Ryan right after, and it felt like prince charming riding in on a white horse. I heard through the grapevine that Merril swept you off your feet at the last moment, but I didn't know the details.

Jamie said...

I also have a similar experience.... it is amazing how you feel like there are no other options and Heavenly Father makes sure you realize there are!