As I was driving away from dropping the girls off at the parade start point (more to come on that..), I drove behind, then past the hospital.
Something fell.
Then I could swear I heard a shatter.
It was my heart.
I knew I would have times when this particular phase of family planning, would feel more like a punch to the stomach, I just thought that the worst (for this week anyway) had passed for now.
But, no.
The hospital where I had doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, and eventually gave birth, stared me down, looked me right in the eyes, and brought with it all of those memories.
My mind, and eyes that are directly linked, were a flood of emotion.
So many thoughts and feelings hit all at once...
Every detail of being pregnant..
Labor.
Delivery.
Feeling the baby latch-on.. the toe-curling.
Memories that I want to re-create, over and over and over again.
I would have as many children as I possibly could, physically and mentally ;).
I would be pregnant forever!
Yearning..
As I think about all of this, I realize how blessed I am to have these experiences, to have the memories. Some don't even get that in this life.
Ah.. the millennium..
Anyone want to join my new club?
"Mommies that don't want to quit" or how about the: "I just took down the crib and am brimming with emotion: support group?
Really..
This too shall pass.
5 comments:
Count me in.
{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
I am kind of at the same point-except I am 35, I have 6 beautiful children, and my baby is almost 5- but my husband swears I will never be done having babies. He even let me have one more chance, and we have been letting it fly for the past 4 months. Still no baby, so I guess it wasn't meant to be. I am scheduling the hysterectomy for Monday(prolapsed uterus-6 kids- go figure), I really think it will be the only way to get past this phase in my life. I am so looking forward to the millenium(spelled?-no spell check on my Ipod). Thanks for the post, I will really try to focus on all I have been blessed with. Candice
I need to be part of the second one. I'm excited for what lies ahead, but I miss what has passed.
Awe! ooo (hug hug hug)
sign me up. i want to be a member in both club/groups! (as a little tear creeps out!)
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