Have you ever felt homesick for something?
I am feeling that way lately..
While I am surely living in the "now", trying to not look too much into the future, but planning for it, and not dwelling in the past, I still get homesick for different times in my life.
Sometimes it's the newness of our relationship. While I still get butterflies anticipating Merrill's arrival home from work everyday, I still miss the excitement, the newness.
I will get homesick for each one of the girls at a different age, while I love them wholly and completely where they are now, loving everything they do and say.. I miss the firsts.
Right now, I am homesick for pregnant life..
It's amazing what can spur such feelings.
It ebbs and flows, but the other night it came on like a flash flood.
I was up, with the "pre-monthly fun stuff", my personal woe of insomnia, and I heard Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4" on a TV show.. gush! The memories flooded in. It's a song I heard so many times in the end of my pregnancy with Peyton, being up in the middle of the night with contractions, watching late night TV info-mercials.. Time Life music specials..
Wow.
Music has always had a power, a presence in my life, but it has hit me hard on this one.
I love it all.
I miss it all.
3 comments:
I know exactly what you mean. Not about the pregnancy but about missing a time from my past. Music is a big trigger for me, as well. So often I hear a song and get sentimental for the days when I lived in a certain house or with certain roommates. I even have times that I miss the loneliness of being in Arizona where nobody knew me and I was too busy to meet any of my neighbors. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets that way, even if we feel it for different things.
Music is a huge trigger for me as well. It's amazing how I can experience emotions again just by listening to a song that was a part of it all....
I do that too! Sometimes its things clear back when I was a little kid playing in the backyard! It seems that summer and autumn evenings when the sun is that warm, golden light brings things back the most. I remember playing on the swingset while my dad mowed the lawn...kind of random but I like it. And of course there are songs that make me think of when Ken and I were first dating (and dating and dating)...and I will always be homesick for when the boys were newborns and the smell of baby against my face. AHhh...thanks for making me stop for a second and think about it all!
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