Friday, June 12, 2009

Flashback part II..

Ally asked a question after last Friday's Flashback..

"So where is he today, do you know."

Yes.. kind of.
He ended-up marrying another girl who worked at Arby's. I had the sneaking suspicion that something was going on there, maybe there was.
He married her the next April, roughly 7 months after we broke up. She was in her senior year of high school. They married civilly, they would marry in the temple a year later. I could hear him using the same argument with her that he did with me, his reasoning for the civil marriage then the temple marriage. They lived in my parents stake, and didn't go through the temple until much much later, I had heard. More promises broken, he was good at that.
I was told that once I worked at Arby's and saw how the food was actually prepared, I would never want to eat there again.
Whoever said that was so wrong.
I would go and eat there every once in a while, I would sometimes even go to the one in Roy (where I grew up and worked) when I was out that way. I had no idea when he was working or when he wasn't, I didn't stalk him, keep up on the vehicle he was currently driving, I didn't even know if he was still working there.. if I was hungry for Arby's, I would get it. I had no issues with seeing him. I was happy, and would have thought that my doing the right thing, would have led him down a path of happiness as well.
There was one time I had a hankering for mozzarella sticks. It was around Halloween 2000 because I was on the hunt for angel wings for my costume (Merrill was Micheal Meyers and I was an angel.. such a good pair!). I pulled up to order my sticks, only to hear his voice on the speaker. It came as kind of a surprise. He was still there. By the time I got to the window, he had sent someone else to deal with me.
Fast forward.
It was summer of 2003, Lynn wasn't yet one, we went to Roy Days carnival while the boys were enjoying a fishing trip in Canada. We did everything we wanted to at the carnival and decided on lunch at Arby's (it was Kaitlyn's choice). We got there and guess who was working and friendly?
We chatted, and he told me how he and his wife were expecting their first, any second now.
"She has to work, so she's there right now. She'll work up until she delivers."
This was funny to me, and not funny "ha! ha!" but funny peculiar for two reasons.
1- When we were talking about all of these plans, he wanted to put off babies. I wanted them sooner. We agreed on 1-2 years to wait. They had obviously gone with his plan, and waited for longer than I would have been able to tolerate.
2- The work issue. Maybe she wanted to. But that was another kink in our plans.. we had first agreed that I would stay home, and then later he waffled, said I would have to work, indefinitely.
The poor thing! It was August, hot and humid. She was probably as big as a house, ready to burst, uncomfortable, and working?!
Just a glimpse into what my life could have been like.
I recently talked to a couple who worked with us, that we doubled with a lot. I heard that he now works for the railroad. Travels a lot, 3-4 days out of the week, and isn't home much. Still just the one little girl.
How empty life would be.
I know, without knowing these details, that what I did was right, but wow, it sure makes me feel so good about my choice!
I am so blessed!


Sunshine and Lazy days said...

it's eye opening to see what life would be like if you made a different choice. I've had those! I'm glad you ended up with the right guy! And you can look at three beautiful girls and know that you did the right thing! =)

Bonnie said...

The "empty" comment resonated with me. That is one reason why I ended up splitting. I love how fulfilled you are with your life, I am glad you made the right choice!

Rachael said...

Hind sight is alway 20/20 at least you can look back at that and say "I did make the right chose."

Now (this may be a long... shot but) if he ends up being a millionaire railroad man or CEO of Arby's you'll probably have to kick yourself.

Question: now that I think about you and Merrill's initials did you guys ever consider (at one point) giving all your kids M.P. initials?

BookwormMom said...

You know, I have to laugh a little about the railroad thing...Cole's dad works for the railroad. When we got married, the plan was for him to work there as well. Nothing ever fell into place for that to happen, and now I'm so glad. Sure, I wouldn't have to work, but I'd be alone an awful lot. I'd rather work than have my husband gone all the time!