Thursday, January 14, 2010

Want a laugh?

Here's the first in a series of laughs for you....
We have been out to Roy 3 days this week alone, seeing Grammy, having her tend and having play dates with cousins, and I hope she has enjoyed the visits as much as my girls have..  (enjoy your "day off" tomorrow mom!!)
Being out n Roy has it's advantages, so I planned a trip to Harmon's.  It is their case lot sale, and I need a case lot sale.
I will brag for a second, noting that one of the items on sale were Kellogs products, 4 for $5.  I will also note that I had two different types of coupons, one for $1 off of two boxes of cereal, and another for $2 dollars off of three boxes. 
I paid 50 cents per box of Frosted Flakes...
Aren't you proud of me?
On to the laughs..
We were making our way into the store, when Lynn got upset.  One of the Reese's peanut butter cups, and it was a big one, not a miniature one (we Pitcher's do take our Reese's serious) were missing from her bag-O treats from grammy's house.
"Did Ashley eat it?" she asked.
"I am not sure Lynn."  and that was a lie, a mommy lie, because I knew, I didn't want to finger the guilty party,  He was so cute..
"If she eats my other one, I will be so pissed..."
And although my legs kept moving, and I was still making my way toward the front of the grocery store with my three children safely in tow, I froze inside.
My seven year old just used the word pissed.  It sounded almost cute with her little lisp, the lisp that is created with her new gap in the bottom row of her teeth.
"What was that you just said?"
"I will be so pissed-off if Ashley steals my other Reese's and eats it."
"Lynn, we don't say that.  It just isn't appropriate... okay?"
"Okay mom." 
That went easier than I thought.  I was expecting the pout because she did something and got reprimanded for it, the pout that usually follows one of those talks.
"Where did you hear that anyway?"
"Well..  we'll have to talk with dad about the words he chooses to say won't we?"
"Yeah mom!!  You should do that!"
So we went about our awesome deal-finding..  I won't tell you how many cases I came home with, you should still be so wowed with my 4 boxes of cereal at 50 cents a box, you shouldn't need further impressing.
We came home, prepared our dinner, and sat as a family to eat it.
Just as we were all digging in to our baked potatoes (side note: we are attempting to cut down on the meat we eat, and these particular baked potatoes were sans bacon bits, I missed the bacon bits...)
I  broached the subject.
"Merrill, Lynn and I need to talk to you about something serious."
He got a look of alarm on his face and carefully asked, "What?"
"Lynn, do you want to tell daddy?"
Her eyes got wide, and she shook her head.
I continued.  "Lynn said a bad word today."
He shot a glance at her.
I continued.  "She said that she heard you say it."
The alarmed look only increased, and he looked back an forth at me and then her multiple times as he asked, "Which one?!"
I asked Lynn if she would tell him, and her alarmed look surpassed his, and was added with another shake of her head.
He was dying.
So I told him.
"She said 'pissed'."
Relief set in on one end of the table, but where Lynn sat, she was waiting for the reprimand to come from her father.
"I am so pissed that you freaked me out like that!  That wasn't that bad..." he said.
And as I gasped at his response, he laughed.
What a good example.
He did tell Lynn that that isn't a very good word, to not use it, and he will try (try being the operative word here..) to not use words like those anymore.
But I think that Lynn really learned that her father is a hypocrite.
He went on to further her learning for the evening by telling her that if she were ever asked that question by her mother again, even if it were his mouth that she heard such language, and she copies it, she is to answer her mother's question with, "I heard it from Schwartz".
At the end of his directions to her, Lynn looked up from her plate with a confused look and said, "But I don't know anyone named Schwartz!"


BookwormMom said...

(cue childhood singsong voice)

"Merrill's in TROUBLE...Merrill's in TROUBLE!"


It could be least your 5 year old didn't describe his(her) video game as
"first, you work together, and then, you beat the hell out of him!"

It was a proud moment, let me tell you.

anniebobannie said...

You are too funny. I sometimes say those bad words that are used too often...Like the other day at lunch...(sorry about that by the way...) Ava definately needs to drench herself at your house so that we can remember those are naughty words too. Love you!!!

Ally's Corner said...

It's always the daddy's. Happens here also.

Sunshine and Lazy days said...

seriously so funny! Kids and husbands! :) We have had an issue of naughty words at my house, my four year old has been saying Heavenly Father's name in vain, and I know he heard it from his cousin, and how to explain that we don't say that at all? I love your stories! :)

Angii. said...

Cool Layout! :)

Where can i get this?


Tiffany Nash said...

Isn't Schwartz the boy that gets blamed in the Christmas Story? =) It is so fun to teach them what they can and can't say when we sometimes struggle to not say those same words.

Courtney said...


Amber said...

I definitely was both impressed with your shopping skills and giggling at your story. Pissed is also on my mom's list of bad words along with crap, sucks, screwed and shut-up. I'm afraid that I will have to worry about Branden teaching our children MUCH naughtier words than pissed... But at least I can be sure that he won't be swearing at them the way the jerk who lives below us swears at his kids.

Jenny said...

Ok, I am still laughing about this one! Too funny. Shame on Merrill!

Julie said...

Way to go on the cereal purchase! Also, way to freak out Merrill.